Shadow Children

Let Me Go

Chapter 5

I didn't know what to do....I felt like today was a day that something exciting would happen.

I felt it deep inside. But what?

Was I going to save the world form starvation, was I going to look outside a window and let my myself be seen?

But the question that rested in my head, the one that meant the most powerful to me was ''When will this horror life of mine end?''

The question could not be answered.....not yet. It was just like finding a cure for cancer.

Scientist know that someday there will be someone who is going to stand up, announce the fact that Cancer has officially been cured.

Now children, grandparents and parents can no longer die or struggle with the pain of cancer.

If only that was how our world worked. If only I was free.

Until now I was still waiting until the day came.

When, Where and Who will save me?

Will I be saved?

I was asking me these questions way to much....I had to stick to reality.

I got pulled out of my deep thoughts when I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. The second the tear dropped onto my sleeve it reminded me of my Grand father.

He suffured from cancer. At least that's what I heard from my two way older brothers. I wish I could feel the ache of missing him. Sadly I never got to meet him, though.

I was never going to because he had already passed away.

My brothers, Owen and Jack were both very tall. They almost looked identical. Both black curly, short hair. But their eyes were completely different.

Jack's eyes were fine careful and kind. A golden, green eye with a shimmer of brown. I could always determine his expressions by just looking him right into his eyes.

Even though he was now 16, he still is a very good and helpful brother to me. To be honest he was my favourite. Not to be mean or anything.

Every family must have a favourite, right?

Owen, he was the type of guy that just walks off and minds his own buissness.

He doesn't do much I guess. I hardly see him he is now almost 17. Mostly he is out with his friends. What he does when he is with his friends......I have no idea.

He wasn't very tall. Just kind of medium sized. His hair was a bit longer and thicker than Jack's.

Once I remember asking him to teach me another language. I wanted to live for at least something.

Jack agreed! Every Sunday he stumbled up into my room and gave me a big, thick and heavy book.

As I tried to figure out the title of the book, my bother was getting out two sheets of lined paper.

I remember being excited as anything. Now I was finally going to learn something useful in life. Not always the way to hid behind a bed or how to breath quietly ....sothat no one could hear you.

No! Now I was done with that! I was going to learn French.

But was I going to learn anything?

''So....should we start with the culture of France. It is actually very interresting.'' Jack said, as if he was reading my mind.

I had nodded. I could feel my head moving up and down while he started flying through pages and pages of the textbook.

Those were memories long gone. I still knew a bit of French. I think it was

Bonjour!

Comment appelles tu?

Oui, ca va?

Ca va, bien merci.

Au revior!

That was all I had in my head.

I wanted to learn more. I had enjoyed having lessons form Jack and finally getting to know more about the world and how it works.

And especially about croissants.

I decided to try to teach myself some science. I wanted to know how things worked.

I also was very much interested in history. How was the world made? Is it round?

Being fourteen, I felt dumb, stupid like I was an alien moving into an new planet and not knowing a single thing about this weird structure called EARTH.

I wanted to get some books, NOW.....I could try begging my parents to get me some for my birthday. I could beg them, kneel down onto my knees.

I staked that as a reminder into my brain and decided to move on.

Just them I recognized that I had just stared at the window the whole time.....just thinking. Lost in another world of questions.

I kept starring. I didn't quite know what I was doing until I saw something staring right back at me.

'' Oh....shut........'' I whispered feeling stupid for leaving the blinds slightly open.

Why? No... there is someone staring into my window. Darn......what if they see me never coming outside or never showing up in another window ever again.

I was frustrated. Frustrated at me! Why had I been so dumb.

What was going to happen now?