Saitama Collection (One Punch Man One-Shots)

Good Sports

"Yes!!!" You cheered demonically as you pulled ahead of Toad.

"WHAT!? How are you first!?" Saitama exclaimed as he failed to skid past a fallen banana peel. "Son of a bitch I'm fifth!!"

You started laughing like an evil maniac. "HAHAHA THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR PICKING BOWSER, BITCH! No one wants the bad guy."

"No, it's 'cause you put it on hard! I will fucking win this race if it's the last thing I do!"

Genos sighed internally as he played as Luigi and was farther behind than Saitama. He didn't much care for the game but he had no other choice but to play it with you two.

"Let's raise the stakes," You smirked evilly. "If I win first place, you cook for the rest of the month, and if you manage to catch up to 3rd, I'll do laundry for a week."

"What!? How come you get less time!?"

"'Cause you're not first," You stuck your tongue out at him. "So, you in?"

Saitama carefully weighed his options and decided to risk it. "Fuck it, let's do this."

"Alright! Prepare to lose, Baldy!"

"I hope you like detergent 'cause that's all you'll be smelling for a while!"

"Don't you think you two are taking this too seriously?" Genos questioned.

You and Saitama both paused the game and gave the poor cyborg a death stare. "You don't fuck around when you play Mario Kart, Genos," Saitama said creepily.

"This is WAR!" You hissed as you restarted the game.

"Oi! Wait, you cheater!"

"You gotta be ready for anything!"

Genos blinked. Okaaaay, maybe his Sensei and his girlfriend weren't completely sane....

~A Few Races Later~

This was it. The final race.

You had managed to stay ahead for the most part although there were a couple slip ups. But you were determined to beat this Caped Baldy. You would be damned for all eternity if you didn't.

Saitama on the other hand kept bouncing from 4th to 5th and each time got his hopes up. Luck was apparently not on his side today. It was the last race and he would need some kind of miracle to make it through this.

Then he got it. The thing that would save him from hell's kitchen, a blue shell.

You begun to laugh desperately as you rose above the sandy hill where you could see the finish line calling your name. Yes...it was good to be first. It was like the gates of heaven were opening and you were about to stroll right inside.

But then you heard the dreaded sound. It blared on the TV screen as you could see it zooming past all the other racers on the map.

Oh no.... Your heart dropped to your stomach. No, no, no, no....

You glanced over at Saitama who had a smug look on his face. Your eyes darted back to the screen, your time ticking away by the second. I can make it, I can make it, I can make it, I can make it....damn it I have to!

You were just inches, mere centimeters from crossing that checkered black and yellow line. I have to...!

You gasped loudly as your screen blanked out into a flashing blue explosion and your Yoshi was thrown upwards into the sky. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" You screamed while Saitama began to cackle like a mad man. "YEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!!"