Many Chance Summer

Girls Can Be Confusing

    The lobby of the motel has been messy these few days. We finished painting (the boys painted), and during that time, the lobby was closed and residents and other clients we directed through another door. We also called someone in to change the carpet. Fortunately, Jamaal called one of his "buddies" to do that work, and we got by on the payment. He is such a show off sometimes, but I was so grateful because a carpet change was not in the budget. As the boys were hanging up the new art work on the walls of the now opened lobby, Kendra, Caressa, and Anya were changing the broken fan, and Carolyn, Paige, Jamaal, Jason, and I were going over Susanne's marketing strategy. Her co-worker, Terry, was also discussing with us because he apparently does a lot of the advertising stuff.

And the day before me and my friend's departure, the lobby and hall had been remodelled. The hallway walls were just cleaned and new paintings were hung up. The carpet washed and vacuumed, so today, every one is taking things easy, especially Kendra, Caressa, Six, Erick, and I since we're getting on the road tomorrow.

We're all in the girl's room relaxing all over. I'm laying on the bed beside Caressa, holding her hand.

"You ready to start the rest of your life?" She asks me gently.

I sigh.

"Today I really hoped to not think about that too much today. What's my life without Jamaal?"

"You really love him?"

"Yes."

"That's weird."

"I know."

"You said he wants to stay together, right? Most guys wouldn't do that. I mean, you guys aren't gong to be that far away but it's still a couple hours distance. Pennsylvania is massive."

"I know, it is. Exactly. But you know how long distance relationships go. And college. Jamaal is tall and hot and I'm...and rich. Girls are gonna-"

"He's told you that he only wants you, hasn't he. Whenever you talk of him, you glow, even when you're fighting. And when you two are together, I see that you're really happy. Take all that doubt out f your head, okay? Or else you'll get hurt and kill yourself and your relationship."

I sigh and close my eyes because she's right.

"I know, I'm trying. It's just...hard. I finally feel...with Jamaal, I finally feel like myself, loved and like every thing is going to be okay. I mean, you guys are the best, but after my rape...it was hard for me to talk about sex or even think about me doing it later on in life when I'm married. I felt dirty and disgusted with myself and, I just...I assumed that all guys wanted one thing. But now I know that good guys exist. I just don't wanna lose Jamaal."

A tear rolls down my cheek and I whacky swipe it away when there's a knock on the door.

"Is anyone expecting anyone?" Kendra wonders aloud. We mumble and grunt and moan but no one is expecting anyone.

"Babe, it's me." I shoot up and sprint to the door, a wide grin on my face. It's our last day and I'd rather spend it with Jamaal.

"Jamaal!" I wiggle the door open and bounce off my feet. But I bump into spent big plastic and big, and stumble back, hitting my head on the door. "Ow..."