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I'm tired of living a hell in reality and also thinking of hell when I'm trying to dream something beautiful about me. I don't want to admit that my demons are winning in every battle. I don't want to admit that I am who I am. I want to prove others and myself that I am what I'm dreaming and not what I'm living. But I don't know why I can't. There's something in front of me that seems so powerful, so enormous, so scary that I don't know how to destroy it, when all I feel to do is to hug it. Maybe you could say it's a monster. A monster that I can't touch, I can't see, but only feel.

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