Darling You'll Be Okay (Kellic Fanfiction)

Demons

Hey guys! This is my first Fanfiction EVER and I really hope to finish it, so I need lots of encouragement okay? I'll try my hardest to make sure it's good!

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Kellin POV

I was tired. It was as simple as that. I was so very tired of fighting day after day against something that wasn't even real. I needed an escape: anything to make this feeling go away, but I had no idea what to do, that was until I noticed the pencil sharpener in the corner of my eye.

I knew that it was dangerous, I knew how many times I've told beautiful, gorgeous fans not to do it and to be strong, but I can't fight these demons anymore, so I searched for a screwdriver or anything I could use take that beautiful blade from the sharpener.

No... No... No... Found it! My hands we shaking furiously as I grabbed the screwdriver and started to unscrew the hardly used blade. I felt a wetness on my face and found that the wetness was tears. What was I doing? Why was I doing this?

Because you're disgusting.

Oh, yeah. I looked at my wrist. I knew it would be too obvious. Much, much too obvious. I walked to my bathroom of our tour bus and locked the door, stripping off my pants and pulling my boxers up until I saw my fat thighs.

I shook my head and let out a growl of frustration. I had been fighting with these thoughts for awhile. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would become angry at my appearance, butI try to make people think I'm an egoistical prick so an insecure pussy is the last thing they would assume of me.

With those thought plaguing my mind, my shaking hands brought the sharp, silvery blade to my skin. I also found myself struggling to take a decent breath. I really can't believe I'm being such a hypocrite to my friends and fans, but you know what? None of that matters because this feels so good. The bite and stinging feels like heaven, I swear it.

I look down at my legs and see I've made four little catscratches that are not nearly as deep as I would like them to be. I take another deep breath and push down as hard as I can with the piece of metal on my fatty thigh. I see the white fat and the blood pool there seconds later.

That's enough. I feel fine now. I just have to wait for this to stop bleeding. It'll be fine. I'm sure that everything is gonna be fine now. God, I'm such a shithead.

After a few minutes of taking in the euphoric bliss from the self-harm, I heard my phone buzz. I look over and see a text message which makes my heart flutter and a smile come to my face.

From: Victorr:3

Hey Kellin! It's Vic (obviously). I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later. I'm sick of hanging with these dumbasses!

I responded quickly, perhaps with a little too much excitement. Oh well, chef don't judge.

To: Victorr:3

Pfft of course! Let me get ready and I'll meet you at Starbucks in an hour?

I smiled and put my phone down, the smile disappearing when I looked back down my leg. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it with cold water to counteract the burn and wiped up some of the blood. My phone buzzed again just as I was reaching under the sick for the first aid kit we had in case of emergencies.

From: Victorr:3

Sounds good man! I'll see you in a bit.

I sighed and grabbed a butterfly bandage, gauze, and tape from the kit. I tended to my self inflicted wounds and forced myself to shake back into my usual, happy self. Well, that's how I would appear on the outside anyway.

To: Victorr:3

Okay! I'll try not to be late, but I'm not making any promises!

I slipped on my pants and slowly crept out of the bathroom, trying not to get caught by the other guys of Sleeping With Sirens. Ever since Katelynne and I split up, they think every time I leave the bus that I must be going on a date. They'll pester me until they know every last detail about where I'm going, who I'm with, why I'm going there, and how long I'm going to be. I love them, but damn, they can be annoying as hell!

"Hey Kellin, where are you going?" Gabe asked, seemingly popping up out of nowhere. Oh god, here come the never-ending questions.

"I'm going to go to Starbucks with Vic man, why does it matter?" My voice had a lot more bite in it than I meant it to. I immediately felt bad.

"Woah dude, chill. It was just a question. You were in the bathroom for a long time, I was just wondering if you were okay. When I saw you leaving, I didn't know if something bad had happened. Just looking out for you man." He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a light smile.

"Sorry for snapping at you Gabe, I'm just sick of you guys pestering me everytime I leave the bus. Can you guys just lay off it for awhile? I don't plan on meeting anyone anytime soon." although shcoked at my outburst, he nodded his head and walked off, leaving me to myself.

I went into my bunk and picked out a new shirt, though I kept the pants on because I didn't think I could handle taking them off yet. It was so uncomfortable with them rubbing against my cuts, but I liked it. I like the friction of jean on my wounds. Was that crazy? Yeah, I think I'm crazy.

I combed through my tangled hair and walked out the door, yelling that I would be back soon and for my bandmates not to worry about me. The boys replied a second later, causing me to smile to myself.

I felt the sting of friction against my thigh as I walked, but I smiled because I knew that I would be okay with that pain for awhile. I knew though that I would have to have more of this addicting pain eventually, and that someone was going to find out one of these days, most likely sooner rather than later, but for God's sake I hope that person isn't Vic...