Love to Hate [1]

I feel safest being alone. (Prologue)

Song: Living in Darkness // Agent Orange

Nessa's POV

She had lived her whole life in the dark - in tight, cramped spaces where the walls seemed to press in on her until she couldn't breathe. On the space station known as The Ark that sustained the last of humanity, it was a crime for families to have more than one child. She was a second child.

For seven years her father and older sister kept her hidden beneath the floor in their room. They let her out at least once a day to stretch her legs, but never outside the room. They were careful, portioning their two rations amongst the three of them so they never drew attention by stealing more. Eventually, though, the Council found out. They always did.

Her father knew the guard was coming for them, so he gave her a backpack with rations, a map of the Ark's ventilation systems, and hurled her into the vent above their room - telling her to stay hidden. To survive. He knew their was no hope for him or her sister. They were too old, too well known, too big to hide in the same way she could. But he wanted to give his youngest daughter a chance - the only thing she had done wrong was be born.

She never saw them again. Any crime on The Ark was punishable by death - floated out into space. At the time she was too young to understand what was going on, but as she got older she wished she'd known and had had a chance to say goodbye.

For ten years now she'd been living on her own - sleeping and moving around in the vents, stealing whatever and whenever she could. It wasn't much of a life, but she survived. Just like her father told her. What she was surviving for though, she didn't really know.

It had been days since her last meal. She wasn't sure how many days, but judging by the gnawing hunger pains in her belly it was verging on a week. She had to steal food. And soon. The problem was, she had taken too much last time. They had noticed, and now security was on high alert. But she couldn't afford to wait any longer - she'd starve. It had to be tonight.

It was midnight. Several hours past curfew. The kitchens and pantries would be empty - or empty enough for her to grab something quickly. She crawled forward through the maze of tunnels until she was in the vent opening directly above the kitchen and peered through the slats. It was empty. She pried the door off and set it behind her before dropping to the floor without a sound. Her every sense on high alert, she crept to the pantry. There was a key card swiper to get in. She popped the plastic top off and began to fiddle with the wiring. A few seconds later the door opened. She darted in and grabbed a loaf of bread and an apple then ran back out, reconnecting the wires to close the door. She turned to run back to the vent and bounced off someone's chest, falling to the ground. She looked up into the face of a guard. He was young - definitely not a full guard member yet, but that didn't matter. He had a gun and had caught her stealing rations red-handed. She could see him raising the gun now, his dark eyes trained on hers. Her heart was racing - she could see the open vent behind him, but even if she got there he'd know now where she was hiding. She had to find another way.

"Stealing rations is against Ark law. You are under arrest," the guard said, but Nessa could hear the waver in his voice. He was as scared as she was. He definitely had never arrested someone before. Sentenced someone to death.

"Please, don't do this. It won't ever happen again. I was starving," she pleaded, slowly moving backwards on her hands and feet. She could see the indecision in his face. He lowered the gun a fraction, loosening his hold on the trigger. She saw her chance, grabbing the apple and hurling it at his face, then turning and sprinting away. She ran down the hallway, following the twists and turns.

"Hey! Stop! I'll shoot!" she heard the guard behind her. Breathing hard, she searched frantically for a way out. She knew the ventilation system like the back of her hand, but she had never set foot in the hallways. Suddenly she hit a dead end. There weren't even any vent openings in the walls or ceiling.

"No, no, no," she whispered. Heavy footsteps came up behind her.

"There's nowhere to go, just make it easier on yourself. I already radioed in for back up."

She felt a tear slide down her cheek. "Please, you don't understand," she struggled to find the right words. Before she could, though, six more guards ran into the hall. She almost let out a sob. She was done. Everything her dad did to keep her safe, all for nothing.

A man with dark, slicked-back hair stepped forward. "My name is Councillor Marcus Kane. We've been searching for you for a while, Nessa. Ten years on your own - that's quite impressive. Definitely a record. But I'm afraid your time is up. You're under arrest for being the second child born to a family. As you are not yet of age, you will be detained in the Sky Box until your eighteenth birthday in three months time. Then your case will be reviewed."

Two guards grabbed her arms and pulled her to her feet. They began to march her down the hallway. She stopped in front of Kane.

"How can you punish someone for something they had no control over? I didn't ask to be born," she said, her face set - determined to keep the waver out of her voice.

Kane said nothing, only motioned for the guards to take her away. When they passed the guard with the dark eyes and curly hair, Nessa stared him down defiantly. She thought she saw something on his face. Guilt? Regret? Good, she thought, I hope he remembers this for the rest of his life. She knew she wouldn't forget him.

Bellamy's POV

What had he done? He thought she was just a regular thief. Not a second child. Nausea swept through him. He felt dizzy. All he saw when they took her away was what would happen if they found Octavia. How could he have condemned someone in her same situation? He lengthened his stride to catch up with Kane.

"Sir, if I may ask, who was that? I thought she was just stealing rations," he asked.

"Nessa Stevens. She's infamous amongst some of the senior guards. Ten years ago, before I was a Council member, we found out about a family with a second child. Her father had been hiding her under the floor for seven years," Kane explained.

"How'd you find out?" he asked, a little too quickly.

Kane shot him a look. "The older sister. She had just turned 19 and was tired of risking her life when it was only a matter of time before we found out. So she told us in exchange for a pardon."

"And the Chancellor gave it to her?" Bellamy asked, disgusted. He thought again of Octavia. He could never imagine betraying her like that.

"Yes, Blake, he did. I argued otherwise, I mean, the law is the law. But the Chancellor agreed to the deal. When we got to the room we found only the father, however. Somehow he knew we were coming and had smuggled her away. We floated him of course, but he never told us where he hid her. He had been a senior engineer member too - quite the loss. Now we know he hid her in the ventilation systems. She's been hiding there ever since, stealing rations and clothing occasionally at night. We've never been able to catch her though, 'til now. So good work, Cadet Blake." Kane squeezed his shoulder and walked away. Bellamy stood there, guilt clouding his brain. For the rest of his life, he knew he would remember the girl's accusing glare, the absolute terror in her eyes when she realized she was caught. Thinking about that happening to Octavia made him want to throw up.

A week later they caught Octavia.