neighbors | barry allen//the flash

twenty two | cookies

So Barry stayed. Not only did he stay, but he somehow managed to drag Clara out of the self-loathing pit she had thrown herself into while thinking about her mother. He made her smile and laugh, but not before allowing her to mourn. He didn't make her feel any less because of her lack of dealing with her emotions that lead to a sudden outburst. He gave her the space she needed, while still being there for her. He had reminded her of what it was like to trust someone with her feelings.

After her mom had died, she had shut everyone out, moving from her small town to Central City alone, without telling anyone, not even her best friend since kindergarten. And while she was in no sense over her mother's death, she felt a new sense of relief. As soon as Barry was out of the door, Clara got to work on the only way she really knew to thank him: baking chocolate chip cookies. After a night like that, she didn't think a simple sorry would suffice. 

Clara baked until the last of her four dozen cookies, and when that was done, she exhausted herself arranging them perfectly in a few gift boxes and crafting a brief, but sincere, thank you note. When her work was finally done, she collapsed in bed without even taking a shower.

As emotionally and physically drained as she had felt after thinking about her mother and then staying up till two in the morning to make cookies for Barry, Clara's sleep was restless. She tossed and turned the whole night, feeling as if she never really did more than close her eyes for a few minutes at a time before she was startled awake again by some phantom fear. She didn't even have any real dreams, just overwhelming feelings of loss. 

Clara was almost happy when her alarm finally went off the next morning. Almost. But she also remembered Dr. Parker and Evan, and the happiness that might have been was stolen from her. She left her apartment ten minutes early just to set the box of cookies outside Barry's door before he would be leaving for work. She reluctantly got on a bus to go to work. With a heavy sigh, she swiped her ID card and pulled the giant metal door to the lab open, bracing herself for the mental battle she was going to face.  

Even Alice was quiet today, not that Clara really blamed her. Actually, as she thought about the situation a little more, the last time Clara and Alice had really talked ended with Clara storming out of the lab. Yeah, Clara definitely didn't blame Alice for that one. Her mind drifted back to last night again, crying into Barry's chest, and how nice it was to finally confide in someone. Alice was really a wonderful person, and she had only confronted Clara because she thought Clara was capable, but instead Clara had just blown up in her face. After shoving herself into isolation for the past year, Clara was beginning to realize that she needed to branch out again, that she needed to break down some of the walls she used to keep everyone out, especially with Alice, who had done nothing to deserve her bitterness. 

"Do you need help with anything?" Clara finally worked up the courage to speak to Alice, who was working on looking at some petri dishes under a microscope. 

"Yeah, could you relabel some of the plates?" Alice said monotonously. "I didn't wait until the marker was dry to put them away, and some of them are a little smeared." 

"Sure," Clara frowned, pulling a stack of plates out of the open cabinet next to Alice. She quietly wrote on a few plates before finally speaking again. "I'm sorry about what happened last week." She admitted quietly. 

"Oh," Alice didn't look up from the microscope. 

"It was totally uncalled for," Clara explained a little more. "You've been nothing but kind to me since I've been here, and I totally just lashed out at you for no reason." 

"Clara, I get it," Alice finally sighed, backing away from the microscope and looking at Clara. "I pried a little too deep when I shouldn't have. I don't blame you for being upset that I clearly brought up things I didn't know had so much behind them. I'm sorry, too."