Bleak December

Intro

Give me, give me, give me the truth now

It was like this. Every day. I am being lied to. From what I have experienced from the life an omega was that you were the slave and punching bag of everyone in the pack, and that could also include your family. Because of this I believed that all the packs were like this.

I promise I can handle it if you can

After a couple years I was able to handle the pain... the beatings... the words. I can handle it all now. This was my own personal hell. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but probably something bad in my past life to have been gifted with a life this horrible. But, then again, the only thing I can thank them for was for making me feel numb.

'Cause you've been running from yourself for way too long

At school or at public areas I never open up to anyone and they won't open up to me in return. At the school I go to both humans and werewolves attend there. Some of the humans there have tried to befriend me and get me to open up - like I was a fucking challenge to them only to win and break my heart. I push them away, afraid of that happening to me, or the others would convince them not to try and stay away from me like I was a disease.

So give me any reason not to cut you out; you're far too gone

I slide the blade across my left arms, cutting up one silt then another and another until I make more before running out of space. I change to the other arm, cutting and slicing and dragging the blade cross my arm until that arm is full of old and new and reopened cuts. This was the only way to make me feel pain, to make me feel anything at all. I let my arms lay beside the bath tub, blood dripping down my arms and hitting the white tile floors. I close my eyes and feel myself slipping away back into the darkness of my own mind. It was lonely, but it was quiet.

Watch you pretend you know it all

Shift any blame aside

Worthless. Stupid. Ignorant. Ugly. That's how they labeled me. It was true and yet again it was not. They blamed me for their wrong doings, for their non-accomplishments. I just push all my rights aside and take everything in like the good little omega I was.

Vending the victim when it sells

How do you even sleep at night?

Sometimes I don't sleep for hours, sometimes I don't sleep at all, and sometimes I don't sleep for days and nights. Weeks or months even. I just laid there, watching the ceiling and hearing all the sounds going around. I would watch the dim light of the basement sway a bit depending on how much ruckus that was happening above, and I would watch as moths swarmed around it. This was my life and I could not change it. They say that life only gives you a rough time to reward you with something even better at the end because you're special. Well that's just bullshit.

As I drive and drive

In that bleak December.

You're just too cold.

But I need the answer before you'd fold

You would hold your cards inside your chest

I think I drove too far

For that bleak December

And how full of shit you are

Life sucks. It is shitty and nothing good ever comes from it. You have to strive hard to gain your own happiness and needs, but sometimes life isn't satisfied and it might just kill you instead.

I really, really, really wanna know you.

Once upon a time there was a little omega hiding behind a locked cage to escape the abuse of his pack. Anyone who has ever tried to open the cage the little omega was in, all their keys would break into millions of pieces and they'd either have to restart over again or just decide to leave the little broken omega.

And not all fifty fucking personalities inside your skull

My true self is hiding behind a cage of protection. The bars are thin that look like they could easily break, but they never do. Sometimes the real me flies away to escape the cage sometimes and anyone will try to catch it. Sometimes they do sometimes they don't. Whether they catch it or not that piece disappears and never comes back.

If you'd stop trying to steal the spotlight and steal the show

Then maybe you would have a better chance at not dying alone

I don't like being the center of attention nor do I like stealing the show so all eyes would be on me. I just want to be like everyone else, happy and normal where my pain never existed. But life is neither fair nor a fucking fairy tail.

So I hit the road

In that bleak December

You're just too cold

But I need the answer before you'd fold

You would hold your cards inside your chest

I think I drove too far

For that bleak December

And how full of shit you are

Now what are you to me?

But a fly inside a web of lies you weave

You're not fooling anyone

Not you, not me

So I wonder how you stay alive when all I do is freeze?

Want to know the true story? The alpha lied. He lied to not only me, but he lied to his pack. Why would he do that to his own son? Um, so that he'll be alpha forever, duh. He might have managed to fool everyone, but not me.

In that bleak December

You're just too cold

But I need the answers before you'd fold

You would hold your cards inside your chest

I think I drove too far

For that bleak December

And how full of shit you are

"And how full of shit you are...,"