The Fault In Our Minds

Fault 4

     I missed work; by the time I woke up my shift had ended. I groaned. Dipper and Mabel we're probably waiting for me somewhere. I'm such a fuck up. Josh was still sleeping. I wrote on a sticky note and left it on his forehead. A car pulled up into the driveway as I walked away. The sound of approaching feet was Josh.
"Why couldn't you just ask me to drive you?" He asked still tired but upset.
"I just needed to be alone that's all."
     There was no answer. Josh dragged me to his dad's car. His dad threw him the keys. They was spitting images of each other. It was amazing. I wonder if I look like my parents. What if I have a twin and they didn't want me? Makes sense. I don't want me.
"You look like your dad," I say.
"That's an insult Ryan." That made me laugh.
      I called my boss on the ride home. She yelled at me, called me worthless and I should have came in. I'm almost glad I didn't come in. I did promise to come in tomorrow just so my hours match up. Josh helped me carry my plants inside. One runt was sitting at the table. I don't even know their names; that's where the runts come in. I never bothered to know them.
"Is this your boyfriend? You and mom have cute boyfriends" she said innocently.
    Oh gosh. Boyfriend. Mom's boyfriend. I clearly missed something important while being in my dungeon. Josh pretended not to hear. Thankfully. We spoke on the porch some. He suggested some more bands and took his departure. I picked up my plants.
She asked "Can I have one?"
     She wanted the Venus fly trap. I was tempted to say no but my insecurity was being unable to identity someone. I let her pick one. Of course she took the one I had already named. It didn't matter. I'm sure later on I'll get another one. Until the other runt wanted one and then mom. So I only got one plant today but everyone seemed happy with them. They can never say I never gave them anything.

We did group work in U.S History. It was on the Cold War. Me and Josh with six other people were Warsaw Pact and the rest of the class was NATO. So basically we wasn't supposed to talk to anyone on the other side; making it hard since everyone knew each other in the class. If we did talk to them we'd lost points. At the end of week we had to the arms race. Which was really seeing who could collect the most rocks. Everyone hated it but I was loving it so damn much. I could throw a big one at someone. Or someone could throw a big one at me. It's the perfect idea for death.

It's time I stop involving every situation with death.

My next class was English which I skipped. Which I have been skipping but only appeared on test days miraculously. That also explains the hundred I have in the class. I should really start going more often. I sat in the hallway a nice blindspot until a dean came and pushed me in my English class. This day is moving slower and slower.

Finally during lunch I went to the library. It wasn't a thing I did much but I have no common things except cutting class or myself. Jesus I'm so depressed.
     Familiar hands rested on my     shoulder. It's like Josh's hand is a perfect fit for my shoulder.
"I didn't know you come here."
"What are you doing? People will see us" I panicked. I wasn't concerned about that. I was more concerned about my nerdy glasses. All them hours I put in looking at tv ruined my eyes.
"Whoa I didn't know you wear glasses. And they're the nerdy ones." I smacked his thigh with a book and walked down the to next row of my addiction. Josh stole my glasses and put them on.
"Man you're blind" he complains.
"No way it's not like I actually wear those. They're just for show." Sarcasm at my finest. He runs away with them in hand. What is this nonsense? I just wanted some books.
     I chased after him like we was playing tag. He was having so much fun out of it and I was just trying not to fall on my face with books in my hand. That's too cliche for me accept and I will probably want to die even more if it happens. Josh lead me to an isolated area. This school had far too many blindspots.
"What are you doing? Give me my glasses."
"I'm debating if you're more cute with or without them."
     I groaned and gave up. Josh helped pick out some books for me while I was trying to put a contact in. I don't like things touching my eyes. Contacts are the end of my life. How the hell do people even put them in? My glasses rested back on the desk. I sighed in relief.
"Why did you do that?"
"I told you" he began and swiped up my contact lenses. "I wanted to see if you was more cute with or without the glasses." He then threw them out. That didn't matter I had my glasses so I couldn't care about some contacts.
"Do you even have lunch?"
"No I work here. I get out seventh perios and I'm here to ninth. It's only minimum wage but I'm not complaining."
     I had no idea you could work in the school library. Almost better than a comic book shop but not so much. It was more money but the boss was a brutal bitch over every little thing.
"What are you doing here?" He asked like some guard of the library.
"I get out after sixth period as well." Sixth period is technically lunch but I call that the end of my day.
Josh got all excited and clapped. I suppose he wanted to me to stay down here after we got out until I had to work. I didn't want to go in today. I got to stop making promising I don't mean.
"Hey Josh can we go back to that plant shop?"
"Like a date?" he says in a very flamboyant way and flicks his eyes closed in a fashion to make his eyelashes make a sound.
"Not like we're going to get plants."
I hope that didn't come off sarcastic. My sarcasm shows at the worst time. This could be one of them.