keep you safe|C. grimes|

9>> letting go

Maggie had spoken to daddy early to let go. She said that he would be okay to give up. I truly think that may have been what was best. No one else really agreed besides us. Everyone was gathered waiting for him to open his eyes. I held his hand in mine and laid my head on his chest. I closed my eyes enjoying the peace.

I heard a bag drop behind me and Glenn began, "I thought you were organizing food."

Carl laughed, "Even better! Check it out!" He kicked the bag open.

I didn't look back until I heard Lori begin to question, "Where did you get this?"

"I found the infirmary, there wasn't much left, but I cleared it out!"

I looked up at him, :Are you stupid?"

Carol and Maggie looked horrified, Lori glared at me before looking at him, "You went by yourself?"

He nodded.

"Are you crazy?" She asked angrily.

Carl shook his head, "It was no big deal, I killed two walkers!"

Lori gently shoved me out of the way, "Alright," she gestured to daddy, "Do you see this? This was with the whole group."

He glared," We needed supplies! So, I got them!"

"I appreciate that, but-"

At this point I could tell he was angry,"Then get off my back!"

Beth looked up at him, "Carl, she's your mother, you can't talk to her like that!"

Lori shook her head,"Look, I think it's great that you want to help, but-"

Before she could even finish her sentence, Carl was gone, running out of the cell and I heard his feet stomping up the stairs. I stood and looked at Lori. She just nodded and looked down at Daddy. I stepped past beth and out the doors, making my way up to Carl's cell My footsteps were light. Unlike Carl's who had been heavy and angry. I stopped at cell looking into it I saw my blanket and pillow. I grabbed them and walked to Carl's cell. He was sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He wasn't happy by any means. He looked ready to explode, which I understood. I stood on my tiptoes looking up at the mattress on the top bunk. I grabbed it and pulled it to the cell floor. I laid my blanket and pillow down on it. I sat my book down on the mattress before grabbing his hand, pulling him down with me. He didn't pay much attention to me, he looked past me.

"Why does she do this?" He asked and watched me sit down next to him.

I tilted my head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Why does she like to be a shitty mother 99% of the time, except when she wants to say face and make me or dad look like the bad guys?" He sat with his back leaned against the wall and his long legs out in front of him. I took his hat and sat it on the floor in front of me after pulling my knees to my chest.

"What are we doing?" he asked looking at the book that was now in my hands.

"Reading.."

He was silent as he leaned his head against my shoulder. I stiffened up giving him some support to relax.

"Moby Dick.." He raised his head and gave me a look and raised his eyebrows, "It's about a whale," I continued softly.

He nodded slowly and laid his head back down. I flipped open to the first page and began, "Call me Ishmael. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. . . "

Before I could even finish the first chapter, Carl was lightly snoring with his head on my shoulder. Silence other than his breathing and I continued to read to myself. A shadow appeared in the doorway blacking out my reading light. I looked up to see maggie standing in the doorway. She had a gentle smile playing at her lips for the first time in a while.

She walked in and sat down on the bed, "His momma is looking for him, but I can see you have tamed the beast." She laughed softly.

I nodded, "He was mad, he just wanted to do more. If I had the courage to run off and do something like that I would. "

She shook her head, "Well I'm quite thankful you don't have that courage," she chuckled.

"What he did could have saved Daddy's life Maggie." I closed the book and sat it between Carl and I.

She shook her head, "I'm not saying it didn't , but what if he would have been bit?" She noticed I really didn't have an answer and crossed her arms, "You'd be reading to a corpse."

"Maggie-"

"No Anabelle, I need you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid like that. " She gave me a look I only recognized from Daddy's face. It told me she was serious and she wasn't playing around.

Carl's head shifted next to me and he groaned softly. He sat up slowly looking at maggie, "Hey.. I fell asleep? Sorry." He sat up and looked at me. He smiled a little bit and grabbed his hat placing it on his head. I stood up and he did the same.

Maggie looked at him, "Your momma is looking for you, you may want to go find her."

He nodded and walked out of the cell and I his boots smack against the steps as he walked down them. I felt a bit of relief now that he wasn't as angry.

Maggie walked over to me and wrapped an arm around me hugging me gently, "Let's go check on Beth and Daddy." She pushed me to the door and I began walking downstairs. I saw the cell block was mostly empty. The food was locked away from us on the other side, secured and finally sorted.

When we walked into the cell, Beth was standing and looking at him. There were tears in her eyes, "Daddy, please wake up." She whispered softly.

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her hugging her. I buried my face in her side and she began to let the tears fall it seemed she was holding in.

Beth looked at Maggie, "Maybe it would just be better if he left. If he let go, he would be happier."

Maggie nodded slowly and put her hand over her mouth to hold in the sounds threatening to escape. The tears were not holding themselves in, but spilling down her red cheeks.