keep you safe|C. grimes|

11

The sky hasn't looked the same in a while. Being here feels so empty. So many people gone. I almost feel gone. We lost Lori, and that still hasn't completely sunk in with everyone in the group. It's a concept we cannot even grab, our minds do not accept it or comprehend it.

Grey, the cell walls were grey and cold, hard, solid, no place for a baby to grow up. "Little Ass kicker" as Daryl would call her. She is so strong to be a week old. She is so loud too. Screams started in the middle of the night giving me no fair warning and sending me into a panic. I shot up out of my bunk nearly slamming my skull into the bunk bed above me. I look over to the mail crate that had been converted into her bed. Her "bed" was shaking as she moved around, screaming and crying. I was shocked that she hadn't shook it enough to turn it over.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, shhh. Please honey, be quiet, everyone is trying to sleep." She didn't seem to care for my pleads and begging whispers.

My body was finally carried by my weak legs so I could swiftly lift the small infant from her uncomfortable "bed."

As soon as I was standing up with her in my arms she calmed and the screams that were once ringing throughout the cells were silent, only heavy breathing and tear stained cheeks. I carried her out of the dark condemning cell down the stairs and towards the place we ate our "Meals." I say it that way because there wasn't exactly enough food for us to have meals. I sat down on the cafeteria styled bench. I swayed with her in my arms to the tempo of a soft lullaby that I hummed, knowing it would help somewhat. She finally calmed her self back into a sleep.

"Anabelle, you can go back to sleep, I will take her upstairs when she is calm."

Carl. He hadn't spoken to me since Lori died. I think he blamed me. I didn't run fast enough. I didn't get Rick in time. From what Maggie tells me, Lori would have died in labor with or without daddy. Carl didn't see it that way. He still had hope that if my father had been there, his mother would have made it. Sadly that wasn't the case.

We locked eyes and the key was thrown away. I wanted to tear my gaze away, yet the look he gave me begged me to keep the eye contact.

"I'm fine," I told him, "She fell asleep, I can just take her back upstairs. "

I stood from my seat and moved towards the cell door separating the cafeteria from the cells. I brushed past him and felt comfort in the mere seconds his shoulder connected with mine. I felt comforted. As soon as it was there, it was gone.

"I'm sorry-" Was muttered behind me.

"Me too," I whispered back before making my way back to my cell, he didn't follow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the pinks and oranges began to form in the sky, she woke up again. She wasn't as loud as before now that I had a few hours of sleep. I lifted her up in my arms and carried her down the stairs seeing Maggie in the "cafeteria.

"Geez ana, you sure know how to take care of her." Maggie gave me a toothy gin.

I feigned  smile, "Now that were here, I suppose daddy won't let me out too much, might as well make myself useful in another way."

She frowned momentarily, then smiled as if she didn't want me to see it, "Yeah, I think he will try and keep you in here, away from all of that. "

"That's ridiculous ya' know? I lived out there for an entire winter with everyone. I know what I'm-"

Maggie cut me off, "We need you in here with her. You know that. You and beth."

"I may know that, but it doesn't mean I understand or want it to happen." By this time I had finished the baby's bottle and began to feet it to her. We weren't exactly stocked up for a baby, being on the road all winter, we didn't even have food for ourselves.