trampled flower » vhope [side FF]

九 | strange tension

chapter nine

triggering warning

"Don't you like it..?" Hoseok asks unsure, noticing the blank glance of the younger. It took Tae a few seconds to respond as he tries to find out if he likes the new hair color or not. It looks nice but the rest of his face doesn't fit the bright and beautiful color.

The younger turns around to face his Hyung, a weak smile on his lips, almost unable to see, "Thank you Hyung it's really nice."

The big smile on Hoseok's face isn't unnoticed by the younger, "No problem."
Before leaving the bathroom, Hoseok ones runs his finger through Taehyung's hair so that they stand in a perfect way.

"Now let's change clothes and then I'll take you somewhere~"

Taehyung stops in his moves immediately, after hearing his Hyung.

"W-wait what..?"

"You are going out. You need some fresh air." And distraction.

"B-but w-where and h-how-" The younger mumbles but Hoseok interrupts him.

"Don't worry, Hyung has an idea."

-

After Hoseok gave Taehyung one of his hoddies and a pair of jeans, they now put on their shoes. The younger is still unsure if it's a good idea to leave the apartment to be surrounded by people. His biggest wish is to be alone in a room, under warm blankets and sleeping till everything is over.

Sleeping forever - sounds like paradise.

But Hoseok has other plans.

"B-but I-I can't go outsi-"

Hoseok suddenly takes a step closer to Taehyung, now holding a white face mask in front of the younger eyes before putting it on Tae's face with such a careful move barely touching the other's skin, trying not to be to close to make him feel uncomfortable or something like that.

"Just cough a few times so other will think you are sick." The older adds, looking down at the smaller boy, their glances locked for a few seconds before Tae breaks the eye contact first.

"Where are we going..?"

"It's a surprise~"

With that they left the house, wandering around, taking a train to the place they are heading to.
The younger still has a really bad feeling about all this. His mind keeps telling him that everyone is staring at him, only paying attention to him, just like he is the center of everything, he Kim Taehyung - a murderer.

This feeling makes him sick, like a punch in his stomach, and another one and another one.

Why is everyone starring at me?? Stop staring!! Please..

His mood suddenly changes just like the days before, from one second to another, without any warning he suddenly feels angry. Hate starts boiling inside of him, but there is no reason. And then the next moment he wants to cry, not long after he feels a sudden and strange tension, something indefinable.

It gets to the point where he just screams from all the pain inside, the voltage growing in his body, growing and growing. And then he wants to release this tension, a small cut, another one and one more.

Blood. He hates it, the color, the smell, the taste. He hates it but the tension is gone as soon as the cold metal touches his skin, slightly pulling it apart. More blood, less tension. It release him.

And then his mood changes again, he wants to cry and die, to disappear forever but the next moment he doesn't want to leave anyone alone. He doesn't want to lose the persons he loves - I already lost them.

Another cut, it feels good. He relaxes, breathing is easier now, the voltage gone for the next few hours.

I'm a bad person
I'm a bad person
I'm a bad person
I'm a bad person

He keeps repeating to himself, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

I should die
I should die
I should die
I should die

They all left me, they don't need me.

Absurd things fucking up his mind, thoughts, no one would assume that they are right but his mind tells him something different .

He cries again. Another cut but this time it doesn't help. Deeper. That's the point. Blood and more blood. Better.

He is weak, so fucking weak and he is scared, so fucking scared.

But suddenly he feels a warm hand on top of his own.

Back to the reality, still sitting in the train, surrounded by busy people reading newspapers or looking at their phones, Taehyung is interrupted by Hoseok.

They glances meet, worried eyes meet his scared, starring at him with so much care and worry, it's almost pathetic how Hoseok looks at him. It feels like he cares for Taehyung and he really does, just the younger doesn't seem to see it.

"Are you okay?" The older asks, his thumb running over Taehyung's dry hand.

"Y-yeah.." He lies.

I'm a bad person. I shouldn't lie to him. He is so nice to me. Why am I lying?

Because he doesn't really care. He just asks because he is polite.

But Hoseok really cares, only Taehyung's mind tells him something different.

_____

Short chapter I know, sadly the comments are getting less, but I hope you still like and enjoy this story! ♡

Here a photo of Tae's hair (actually war of hormone era)