I have a Secret

Chapter 1

Jonah's POV

I woke up sweaty and sticky. It was still dark outside, yet I couldn't sleep. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair. I kept it long now, the better to hide behind. I threw my sheets aside and stood up, stretching at the side of my bed. 

I looked at myself in the mirror; I was a mess. My boxers hung crookedly on my waist and the dark circles under my eyes made me look like a zombie. Slowly I padded to the bathroom and shut the door; I dropped my boxers and turned on the shower. 

The cold water pelted down on my skin and it hurt, the water was making me go numb. But I bore it, I needed the cold shower. Finally, I shut the water off and silently dried myself off. In my room, I picked out random clothes and threw them on; I was going running. 

Mom and Dad were still asleep, as was Melissa, as was the entire neighborhood. It was just going to be me, just the way I liked it. In the kitchen I grabbed a breakfast bar and filled my water bottle. I didn't bother to take my iPod; I needed to be alert. 

Quietly I slipped on my sneakers and headed out the door. And I ran and ran and ran. I ran to wherever my feet were taking me, I trusted my feet, they could take me far away from here. My breath strained, my legs burned and I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I wanted to go to the spring, I had to.  

My feet scraped the gravel, the wind rushed through my hair, it was exhilarating. And quietly I laughed to myself, relishing my freedom. I felt good. 

When I collapsed at the spring, my legs felt warm where the blood was trickling. My shirt was torn, pieces of the red fabric were ripped off by the numerous tree branches I had collided into. I knelt by the small spring, the waning moon reminding me of a new year, a fresh start. I dipped my hand into the spring and watched the water ripple. If I looked close enough, I could see tiny fish gathering down below the murky water, just waking from their slumber. 

Soon enough, all I could see was red and orange, it was blinding but I loved it. And as the sun rose, I could hear everything in the woods come to life. Everything was alive, I could hear the slow steady beating of the woods and quiet breaths it released. Yet, I couldn't find my own beating heart, no matter how long I searched. But that was okay, because I could feel the woods and every single creature in it, the woods were growing louder and louder-the beat was drumming thorough every pore of my  body.

My watch beeped and the moment was lost, the woods went quiet again as if all the life had been sucked out. I lost the heartbeat. I had to go back to the house. 

I ran again, but it wasn't the same. I ran back to the house, I needed to get ready for school. 

___________________________

The hallways were as crowded as usual as I tried to find my locker. 

"Jonah, hey buddy wait up," I heard someone call from behind. It was my best friend Alec. I paused and flashed him a smile. He held his hand up in a high five.

"What's up?"

"Not much," I replied as I gave him a fist bump instead. 

"Me and the guys are hanging out after school," Alec said. 

I scoffed, "Coach is letting us skip practice?" Alec shook his head, "No we're going after practice."

"I don't know man, I gotta pick up Melissa later." Alec frowned and punched my shoulder, "Come on! When's the last time we hung out together? It's been so long."

"We hung out last Friday," I said wryly.

"Exactly, last Friday. We used to go out everyday man."

I sighed, "I don't know, maybe next time."

Alec just said, "Alright, talk to you later," and walked off. I sighed in relief. I needed to get to class soon.

I put my books away in my longer when I felt slender fingers caressing my back. Immediately I turned around and grabbed the person's hand, shoving the person into the locker next to mine. It was Cassandra.

Instead of screaming, Cassandra giggled. 

"Oooo, I like it when you're rough," she said as she dragged a finger down my chest. 

I wanted to puke but instead I quickly took a step back and said, "Look Cassandra, I need to get to class."

Cassandra frowned. "But Jonny-poo you never spend time with me anymore," she whined and slung her arms around my shoulders. She was wearing too much perfume, and the strong scent of roses overwhelmed me. I hated roses. 

I unwrapped her hands from me and shoved her aside, a bit more roughly. "First off all, my name is Jonah. And second of all, I need to get my books and go, I have makeup work to do."

"Oh my god! What the fuck is wrong with you?" she screeched, attracting pretty much everyone's attention in the hall.  I wanted to hit my head on my locker. But everyone was looking.

 Sure Cassandra was pretty stupid, but if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was getting herself in the center of attention. 

So I dropped my books on the ground and gave her my million-dollar smile. Almost immediately I could sense her anger diminishing. Slowly I forced myself to take a step closer to her and I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her closer to me. I leaned against her, my forehead against hers and lowered my voice an octave.

"Cassandra, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me," I said in a sultry voice, putting on the best show I possibly could. I could practically hear a bunch of girls in the hall swooning.  

"Hmmph, I don't know what got into you either," Cassandra snipped. But then she leaned close into my ear and rasped out in what she thought was a sexy voice, "But I know how you can make it up to me."

"Of course, baby," I said like a dutiful boyfriend.

"My house at 7 tomorrow," Cassandra said and walked off. She swayed her hips side to side and I could see her ass hanging out of her shorts. I don't know how her mother could tolerate her dressing like that. Her rose perfume still lingered in the air. Sighing, I picked up my books and slammed my locker shut. 

When I turned and saw no one was paying attention to me anymore, I lowered my guard. I didn't have to act anymore. I really just wanted to go to class in peace. Just as I was entering the math hallway I bumped into Luke.

"Hey man," he said, "I saw the showdown with Cassandra."

"Yeah, girls, you know them," I said scratching my head.  

"Cassandra is a hot piece of ass, but man she is annoying as hell. I don't know how you do it."

"Well you just have to suck it up to her a bit."

Luke laughed, "Of course. How else are we men supposed to get some?"

I laughed weakly, "Yeah."

Finally the bell rang. I really just wanted people to leave me alone. I rushed into math and sat in the first available seat almost knocking down Mr. Morris, the math teacher, on the way. Mr. Morris, looked at me in shock but didn't say anything. Slowly, students piled in and Mr. Morris began class.