Always Loving You - ON HOLD

14. Problems in paradise

Hello everyone! I'm sure you're sick of my apologies but I promise you, I mean every single one of them. Once again I am sorry for the huge, unacceptable delay. I promise I am not making excuses, in case you're wondering. ;)

The honest truth is this: being an adult sucks. haha seriously though, the work I do is very stressful and lately writing has taken the back burner. I am always so tired and stressed, I can't bring myself to write. When I do, I can only do little bits at a time. Hence my huge delays. But I promise you, I will finish this story.

Please enjoy this chapter.

***

"Did you know?" I ask, my head resting on Jamie's chest. I'm running my fingers through his very fine chest hair.

"About Penelope and the contract?" he asks.

I nod.

"No."

I lift my head to look at him and notice the worry etched on his brow. The last hour we'd been able to forget about everything but now it's time to talk. Figure out what we're going to do.

"She told me only a few moments before you arrived," he explained. He runs an agitated hand through his hair, messing it up. His eyes capture mine and I see the panic in them.

Jamie has always been cool, calm and collected. A part of me was always envious of him. He handled stress so well and he always appeared to come up with a solution easily. This time though, he appears to be as lost as I am. I knew one day our pasts would come back and bite us and it has...in the form of Penelope. It just came back sooner than I had hoped. We've had no time to prepare. Penelope certainly wasted no time.

"What do you suggest we—"

"I don't know," Jamie snaps suddenly, interrupting me.

I sit upright, wrapping the sheet around me. Jamie's eyes are blazing angrily and I snap my mouth shut. He rarely gets angry so this is a shock, especially out of nowhere.

"I'm not a miracle worker," he rages, "I know you expect me to fix every bloody thing, Teresa but I can't. I'm not a miracle worker and it's about time you realised that!"

My spine stiffens and I just stare at Jamie, unsure what to say. I hate that he's angry and I hate even more that it's my fault. He's right. I've always relied on him to fix things. I haven't really cared at what expense, as long as he's pulled through. It dawns on me yet again how selfish I was at one point. And the truth is, I still am to an extent. Still expecting him to fix a situation I put us in. I should be the one fixing this, not him.

I tried to fix things when Prisca was on the rampage so I'm going to try and fix this too. I'm going to prove I don't need Jamie to do things for me. That I don't expect it of him.

The tension between us is thick. My heart is pounding as I slide out of bed and quickly change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. These arguments are the worst. There are barely any words spoken but Jamie's anger is radiating off him. I realise how much pressure I've put on him and I don't like it. It's changing, effective immediately.

Picking up my things, I mumble that I'm going for a walk but don't even look back at Jamie. I leave the room, slamming the door after me. I have no idea where to start but I need to figure it out quickly. Knowing Jamie, even if he's fed up with constantly fixing things, he will still try to so I need to beat him to it.

Walking to the reception area, I realise the storm has let up and the sun is shining again. People are out and about and the beach is packed. I'm barely paying anyone or anything any attention. Guilt is eating away at me as I walk with no destination in mind. I'm not proud of what happened in the last year. I let myself get too out of control and ignored the feelings telling me to stop. I refuse to fall into that trap again. I'm fixing this and I don't care what it takes. I need to show to Jamie that I've changed.