3 / birthday suit

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When Maddie woke up on the morning of the 17th of July, she didn't feel any older despite now having a whole new number with which to describe herself. Then again, she had somewhat ruined that by referring to her age as 'almost twenty-one' for the past couple of months.

For several long seconds, she stared up at the ceiling fan and the twitching light she had forgotten to switch off before she had fallen asleep. It blinked above her, the bulb sputtering in its last leg of life, as though sending her a desperate help signal in morse code. Outside, the sun peeped its weary head out from behind a cloud, a thick band of yellow light seeping into Maddie's room and illuminating the peaceful particles of dust in the air that floated with no agenda. Just like Maddie. She had no plan for the day; she was just going to see what took her fancy.

That is, until she unplugged her phone from its charger on her bedside table, with the intention of checking the time, but instead she was faced with a series of Facebook notifications. Her newsfeed was already stuffed with well-wishers, some of whom she hadn't spoken to in years, but there were also a few new messages in her inbox. Letting out a gargantuan yawn, she stretched one arm up and opened her messenger app to see that all of the new messages were from Peter and without thinking, she opened them.

Maddie was certain she felt her heart stop

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Maddie was certain she felt her heart stop. Then all of a sudden it sped up, beating twice as fast until she wasn't sure she could keep up. She lay pinned to her bed, weighted down beneath Peter's words. Perhaps it was the bluntness that shocked her, she thought, and when she lifted her phone to double check the messages, she realised her hand was shaking. Propelling herself to a sitting position sent blood rushing to her already spinning head and for a moment her eyes swam as she steadied herself. Whaddaya say? What did that even mean?

She knew Peter. She knew that once it hit midnight, marking the beginning of his birthday, he would have his first drink with his friends: there had been a time when they'd shared that celebration. Then he would drink a little more until his inhibitions began to back down. Though he never lost control of his spelling, his emotions tended to let loose after a few pints and judging by the time stamps of each message, he had stayed true to form. Celebratory was followed by cockiness, which led to inevitable sentimentality. More than once, Maddie had been forced to help a drunk and dozy Peter into a bed, his laden body draped around hers like a cloak.

She closed her eyes and raised her hands to her temples, massaging her forehead before she stood and padded over to her dresser. It was a mess inside, her socks and underwear mixed up with leggings and tank tops, so it took a few minutes to put together a half decent outfit and as she dressed, her head was elsewhere. One thing she knew about Peter was that no matter how soppy he could get once he started to drink, he never told a lie.

*

Her dad was already up: she could hear the muffled sounds of him going about his daily life downstairs and once she had managed to clear her head, she joined him in the kitchen.

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