16 / recovery position

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Sunday was a difficult day to wake up to, the weight of its reality suffocating Maddie and pressing her down on her mattress until she struggled for breath. For a few blissful seconds after first opening her eyes, she saw the sun streaming through the crack in her curtains before the cloud of yesterday fogged her vision and her head hit the pillow once more.

At the sound of a knock on her door, she looked over but made no effort to move from her bed. Her father called her name through the wood and she couldn't even bring herself to respond. Reacting to her silence, Jung-min pushed the door open a few inches and peered through the gap.

"Morning, ttal," he said, pushing it open a little more when he saw that she was awake. "It's almost midday."

"It is?" She didn't move. "I guess I was tired."

"I know, Mads. I know. How about you get up? I'll make you something to eat. Or we could go out for brunch." He leant against her chest of drawers, unsure of what to do with his hands, and looked down at Maddie with heavy eyes. "No good will come of lying in bed all day."

"I know," she said. "I don't know what to do."

"Come downstairs," her father said. "I've put the kettle on. Come and have a cup of tea."

Rounding up every ounce of energy, she pushed back the covers and got to her feet, oversized pyjamas swallowing her frame, and headed straight towards her father. For a millisecond he was stunned by the hug that she wrapped around him before his arms worked on autopilot to hold her close. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her back, shushing her when he felt her shoulders tremble.

"I fell out with Peter," she murmured against her father's shirt, and he nodded. "We've never fallen out before."

"It'll be ok," Jung-min said, not so much of a promise that things would work out as it was a reassurance that he had her back. Maddie pulled away and wiped her eyes, and she laughed at herself when she caught her reflection in the mirror.

"God, I'm a fucking mess," she muttered to herself, just loud enough for her father to hear and to wince at her choice of words. "Sorry."

"Come and have a drink," he said, beckoning her to the door, and she followed him without changing into something a little fresher. She'd need a shower before she did that, and then she was due a long conversation with Posy, whom she owed a lot of back payment for all of the therapy sessions she had conducted over the years.

A perfectly brewed Earl Grey in her favourite mug was just what the doctor ordered, and Maddie closed her eyes as she held it just beneath her nose, inhaling the stewing spices. Opposite her, her father squeezed out his green teabag against the side of his cup.

"Sometimes boys aren't good at expressing their feelings," he said after the two of them had sat quietly for a couple of minutes. "Especially when it comes to love."

She looked up from her tea. "Who said anything about love?"

He gave her a sad smile. "I may just be your dad but I'm no fool, Maddie. I see the way your eyes change when you talk about him. Call me an old romantic, but I know love when I see it."

Maddie bit the insides of her cheeks, her grip on her mug tightening until the heat burnt her fingertips and she pulled her sleeves over her hands.

"Moping won't do you any good," he said. He softened his voice, softer than it already was, so that his words came over as advice rather than confrontation. When Maddie was upset, she became even more susceptible to the nuances of conversation, picking up accusations where there were none.

"I don't know what to do though."

"Have you called Posy?"

She shook her head.

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