[Alexa's POV]
I stood outside school, unsure what to do. This morning, when I'd walked past the girl on the wall (I long to know her name) she hadn't been wearing her headphones. Why this was of significance didn't actually puzzle me, unlike many things; for the past 58 days, she'd always been wearing headphones. So why, now, on day 59, had she chosen not to wear them?
Nothing ever changed about her. Maybe that's why I was so perceptive about things when they did.
Winter sunlight shone down on the streets, but a cool breeze seeped through my skin. If I didn't make a move soon, the evening would begin to draw in.
Dare I cross the street?
Before I could consider, my mind made itself up. My feet carried themselves across the street, purposeful, like I'd intended to all along. I stared straight ahead, forcing myself not to overanalyse what I was doing - and eventually I came to the wall where the girl sat. I froze, mid-step. Way to look like an idiot.
She tilted her head a little and gave me that curious, questioning look I knew so well. Closer, she looked even more beautiful than I could ever have appreciated from across the street. She raised her eyebrows a little, searching my face for clues of some sort of expression.
"Um - can I sit?" I blurted out, my voice a pathetic mumble - thankfully, she'd heard. After a slight pause, she responded with a small smile. I took that to mean yes, and pushed myself up onto the wall next to her.
Now what?
Her eyes ran over me from head to toe, still with that same searching look.
"Why today?"
My breath caught in my throat at the sound of her voice, and I had to fight not to gasp. It was the first time I'd ever heard her voice - the first words I ever heard escape her lips.
"What do you mean?" I answered, playing dumb, although it was obvious what she meant. I was playing for time, because I didn't know either. Why today, indeed?
"You walk past me every day, and you look at me. Why today, didn't you walk past?"
"Today, things feel different." I couldn't escape her gaze, her eyes remaining fixed on mine too.
"How so?"
"Indescribably." It was a useless answer, but it was the truth. Silence fell between us, and I was the first to let my eyes flicker away. She never did. I glanced at the floor, at our feet hanging just above the pavement.
"It's just..." I looked back at her. "I just thought, that if I never spoke to you, I would always be curious, and always wish I had done."
She smiled a little, the corners of her lips twitching slightly - something about her I will never forget. How can someone be so adorable?
"I'm afraid the curiosity won't go away. At least... I hope it doesn't. Some questions are definitely best left unanswered."
I raised my eyebrows, analysing her expression, not that there was much to analyse. Sometimes I felt as if I could read her like a book, yet other times, like this, I had no hope.
My eyes dropped to her hands, long, elegant fingers loosely gripping the edge of the wall. I edged my hand across the wall so that it mirrored hers almost exactly, although my hands were far from elegant. I felt so inadequate, sitting next to this beautiful angel. She was so at ease, so smooth in speech, so perfect. Yet so unique.
"Why do you intrigue me so much?" I said, without thinking. Fuck. That sounded like I'd been stalking her. She didn't seem to take offence, though.
"I said, some questions are left unanswered. I think that's one for you to think about on your own." For the first time since I'd sat down, she allowed her eyes to wander away from mine, looking in the opposite direction at the street lights, some of which were beginning to flicker on.
"But... Today was different. You weren't wearing your headphones. Why?" I couldn't seem to keep from asking questions whenever I spoke, yet at the same time I was unable to think of any of the questions that kept me awake at night thinking of her.
"Sometimes, I don't like making the voices stop. Rarely. But it happens." Now she was looking at the floor, her hair masking the side of her face.
"Voices?"
"You know what I mean. The voices in your head, tiny little thoughts and impulses that flash across your mind seconds. Music drowns them out, mostly. But I like to hear them, sometimes. It comforts me, makes me feel less alone."
Now it was my turn to glance at the floor. I knew what she meant - of course I did, all too well. Who doesn't?
"I understand." I said softly, looking back up at her and meeting her eyes again.
"I wish you could." That confused me. "You need to go."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. What would your mother say if she knew you were taking detours home to talk to strange girls dressed in black?" She was grinning now, all mention of voices forgotten - despite having not spoken to her before, though, I could tell her smile wasn't genuine. Nevertheless, I gave a small smile back.
"It's hardly a detour. But you know, if you don't want me around..." I trailed off, worrying that it might actually be true. My smile, fake as it was, had already faded.
"You know I don't mean that. But... You do need to go, before it gets dark. Get home safe." She had a trace of worry in her voice.
"Okay." I sighed and pushed myself off the wall. "Thank you." I picked up my bag and took a couple of steps towards the edge of the road, before turning round again. "What about you? Don't you need to go?"
"Me?" The girl hadn't moved. "No, I'll... I'll be fine. Go."
"Are you sure?"
"Goodbye, Alexa San Roman."
I didn't bother asking how she knew my name. Some questions are best left unanswered.
