K-MIXNARIOS

"Fangirl/boy's Nightmare"

This is the day.

 The moment every person's been waiting for. 

The moment of one's life that is a dream come true, while other's night mare. 

Also the day that every fangirl's greatest nightmare came true.

This is the day of his life. This is the death of fangirl's lives.

The moment where he will settle things. The moment he's tying the knot. Yes.

Bias is getting married.

This is the best and memorable day he will cherish to remember. And a death anniversary of every fangirl's heart.

For how many years I've been supporting him virtually.. morally.. or.. eternally.

For how many years I've been loyal to him and single because of this stupid fangirl daydreaming that we'll end up with each other just like any other fanfics of him and his group x readers that I religiously believe.. 

Yeah. Me.

Screaming infront of my laptop because of the video previews of their concerts that has been uploaded of the angels of the earth...or should we say, the fangirls who were physically at their concert and was effortly and generously, took and upload the videos of their concert.....

Since I have no money or my home was far away from the venue of their concert, making me not join it. Yes it hurts. But was aided when I watch their concert on previews. Yesss.

Tho it's hard to watch it because of the shaky video. But beggars shouldn't be choosy right? Still, it's grace.

For how many years, even other videos of his group or his, were old and outdated already, their music videos, guestings, behind the scenes, photoshoots, issues, and everything. I witnessed them all. Watched them online, watched them than I watch my life. Never been old, always gold.

But now?

I'm effing watching a live video.

Not their V-app live vid. Or fan greeting. But his wedding video.

I HATE WEDDING VIDEOS! WHY DO THEY EVEN EXISTS!

It is like watching a farewell or execution live video of a prisoner getting hanged. Or should I say my heart's getting hanged.

Shit. This hurts. Getting me into my feels zone. Dammit.

But oh well.

Yes. I'm watching this live video of my bias' wedding.

*sobs*

The venue it's so perfect.

Just like in the movies. The guests, their visitors, some celebrities that has been a close friends and pals of my bias, all were looking at him as he walks into the aisle.

He is so beautiful, more beautifuler than what he looks like on their comebacks. More beautiful than he is on their photoshoots. He looks so natural. With that tuxedo. Clean haircut. He looks so blooming, I can't. I could almost fangirlize but instead of screeching and having a seizure. Tears were rolling out from my eyes. I don't know. This might be mixed feelings? Jealous? I don't know anymore.

Lights hit him at the altar, makes me remember of him when he's performing live on stage. Oh, good times. As he slowly turns and facing the crowd, stood straightly clasping both of his hands, like he's nervous at something. But, a curve slowly draws at his face as his chest starting to pump  hardly. Oh, that chest. Followed by a priceless smile that I haven't seen. He seems so happy. Even his eyes looks glossier and sparkly, tears of joy? Well me, here at my couch, clasping tissues and surrounded by crumpled used tissues from my crying.

I didn't even notice that I'm crying like I watched Miracle No. 7, Kung Fu Panda 3 or when a dog dies in a movie. Dammit, this video of his wedding gets me----ugh.

Now, he's at the altar, waiting for his bride. Looking at the door that is still closed, not until his beautiful bride will enter it.

Suddenly, everyone stood up. The music changed. It plays. 

Darn it...wait. It's the song he said before on his interviews that he will dedicate to his soon-to-be-wife at their wedding.

Oh shit. Shit. That song is on my playlist too...I'm gonna delete it later.

Now..the moment of truth. The door slowly opens.

.

.

Sorry, but I can't.

I turned off the TV and continued the last tears until the hurt will stop me from crying.

I breathed hardly, blinking so many times, snorting. Wiping my tears and nose over and over again with the tissues.

AHH FUCK! I forgot. I'm not watching alone. Shit. This video really is something.

"Mommy? Why are you crying? Is mama hurt??" as my son looked at me confusingly.

I laughed nervously facing my son as I stretched my hands towards him as I let him come next to me. he cuddled to me as his head rests on my chest. Giving me hugs just to make me feel better, like what my little angel said. "Stop crying mommy. _____ is here."

Suddenly footsteps came behind me.

"Watching our wedding video again?"

The fuck. But. I turned it off already. How did he? 

"How did you--" I rubbed my eyes and nose before I turned to him again.

It's my husband. Yes. That beautiful creature who's in the video I'm watching is now raising a brow at me with a teasing smirk bringing a popcorn.

"Oh please Y/n.. You always cry whenever you watch our lived wedding video 3 years ago. Can't you get over it?" as he cuddled to other side where my son hugging next to me.

"I told you to wait for me, but there you are, watching our wedding video. *shakes his head & sighed* Oh well---here. The popcorn's cooked and buttered, just the way you like it. So.. Can we watch movie together?" he said as he's reaching for the remote.

"I got bored....what took you so long. Don't blame me." as I pout and frowned at the same time at him.

Bias chuckled and smirked at me. "How about we watch it together. Now,, where were you---"

He turned the TV and shows the part where I left off.

"Ahhh. The part where she walked down the aisle." 

He sweetly sighed while looking at our wedding video with a graceful smile as he reached his arms that it could reach me from the back. But there's me looking so horrible, still wiping my tears as this video's starting to make me feel funny again.

I hate wedding videos. But, this wedding video we are watching? Is an exception. ♥

"Dad, mom is crying again" as my son said soullessly as his eyes were on the wedding video that is playing. Goddammit. Why does he have to ruin my moment.