its not that i have waves of yes and no coursing through me when i see you,
i mean i do but that's not the point.
the point is, its not only you.
it's life.
every choice no matter how hard it may be is met with conflicting ideas fighting to be right.
or wrong. they're not sure yet.
sometimes i feel so unbeleivably inspired its ridiculous.
at others i feel like its ridiculous to even try.
most times i'm wondering why i fancy the word ridicoulous so much...
So im either me or her.
i cant be both.
although i try so very hard to.
if i'm me: im wrong, im too soft, i'll need to stop letting people run over me so easily.
they might hurt me.
if im her: i need to stop being so rude and disrespectful, im so mean and aggressive.
yet these ideas only exist in my head because there is no me, no her, no we.
There is only I.
I am ridiculous.
i am wonderful.
i am vain.
I am hopeless.
