Jamais Vu

Chapter 15

Like a kid at the door of the principal's office, Nessa shifted from foot to foot outside Lulu's apartment, working up the courage to knock. Dread pulled at her nerves and nausea roiled in the pit of her belly. I might lose my two closest friends in two days. It didn't seem fair that just when she'd found Dan, she was at risk of losing so much.

With trepidation, she rapped on the door, the noise as hollow as her heart. "It's open," bellowed Lulu from somewhere inside the apartment.

Nessa slipped inside. "Hello?"

"In here!" sing-songed Lulu. Nessa followed the sound of cheerful pop music through into the bedroom. "Hey, lady!"

"Hi." Nessa stood at the door, watching Lulu sashay around the room, happily tossing clothes into an overnight bag. "Are you packing?"

"Yup!" Lulu pulled out a lacy thong and said, "Now, where's your buddy? There you are!" She threw the matching bra onto the pile of expensive pretty underwear, then turned to Nessa. "Since you're staying on with Dan, I'm going to stay at James' place."

"For how long?"

"Who knows?" said Lulu, waggling her eyebrows. "I might never leave."

Frustration swamped Nessa. The blaring music, the uncertainty of Lulu's reaction, Lulu's continued preoccupation with James, it was all too much. Crossly, she said, "Can you turn that off, please? I really need to talk to you."

"Jeeze, okay." Still humming, Lulu shut the music down and followed Nessa out to the white leather couches in the living room. Cackling, she said, "Why so grumpy? What's the matter? Isn't Danny boy any good in the sack?"

"Don't call him that," said Nessa, working to keep her temper under control.

Lulu reached for a hair brush on the coffee table and began to run the bristles over her long artificial locks. "You really outdid yourself the other night. James was just about in tears after you blew your stack at him and stormed out. Hope your little artist is worth it."

"Lulu, can you just be quiet, please? I need to tell you something. It's important."

Cocking her brow, Lulu said, "The floor is yours, lady."

Nessa crossed her legs on the couch, tucking in her edges as if that would provide a layer of protection. This is so hard... The echo of Dan's advice helped her to centre her thoughts: just give her the facts. "James came to see me yesterday. He told me... that he's in love with me."

Before Nessa could go on to apologise, Lulu smirked and said, "Yeah, and?"

"Lulu, I don't think you understand. He said he has feeling for me, that he has for years, and that he wanted us to be together. I had no idea," she said, trying to excuse herself as if she'd been an active participant.

"Of course you didn't," said Lulu, stretching her legs out, her leather pants making a squeaky noise. "You're the dumbest smart person I know. Nessa, the only person that didn't know James was in love with you was you."

"You're... You're not mad?"

Lulu laughed, the sound derisive. "Why would I be mad? That's the reason I've stayed friends with you for this long."

"What?"

"Back in college – I liked James, and James liked you. I figured, the more I hung around you, the more I'd see of him."

The room was too cold. Nessa clutched the folds of Dan's sweater tighter around herself, wishing for his arms. "You used me? Did you ever even like me, or was I just a means to an end?"