Jamais Vu

Chapter 18

"I've got egg-zactly what you need here," said Dan, yelling out from the kitchen.

Nessa didn't answer. Her gaze was locked on the city skyline outside Dan's window. Every twinkling light seemed like a taunt. Is Lulu in here? Or in here? Or is she somewhere in the inky blackness between the bright spots?

"Nessa, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You didn't laugh at my egg pun. You love my puns." Dan was carrying a plate with an omelette on it, and as he approached he said, "Are you having an egg-istential crisis?"

From her perch on their bed against the enormous windows, Nessa tried to smile, saying encouragingly, "Sorry, I was a thousand years away."

He handed her the omelette. "You're thinking about Lulu again, aren't you?"

"I haven't stopped." She took the plate and slid it surreptitiously to the side. Much as she appreciated Dan's efforts to keep her fed and watered, it was almost impossible for Nessa to eat. With every mouthful, she wondered: what is Lulu eating? Is she being fed at all? Even water seemed to stick in her throat as she imagined rough hands choking her friend, cutting off her oxygen.

Not just any hands; the hands of her brother, of the man who'd taken her virginity and violated her repeatedly throughout their childhood. Nessa shivered. She knew from speaking with the other Dan those same hands would soon be on her, and that the interaction wouldn't be pretty.

Part of her wanted to stay locked in Dan's penthouse tower until it was all over, but the resolute side of her knew that she'd have to face Luke – and when she did, she'd have to ensure that things went down differently to how they did the first time. The first time, that already happened. That hasn't happened yet. Blech. This time travel stuff makes me want to drill holes in my skull...

To Dan she said, "I just can't stop thinking about how strange it was to meet Lulu's parents. They're nothing like I pictured."

"What were you expecting?" he asked, pulling her close and staring into her with those intense emerald eyes.

"Awful people," she admitted. "I mean, what kind of parents have no idea their only daughter is being molested by their own son?"

She'd caught up with Mr. and Mrs. Quisling the day before at a diner across the road from the police station. James had begged her to go and speak with them. He'd pleaded over the phone, "Please, Nessa. I can't sit in the same room as those people, knowing that they let Luke get away with so much. Besides, I can't just sit there when I could be out looking for Lulu."

"You need a break." She knew that James hadn't been home for a few nights because when she'd gone over to his apartment to check on him and bring him food, it was dark and empty. "You can't just keep searching every night, you'll exhaust yourself."

"I'll rest when she's found," he said passionately.

"James... I didn't know you cared so much." Honestly, Nessa had figured he was using Lulu as a rebound after Nessa had rejected him. She knew he'd be upset, but this seemed like a deeper level of emotion.

"I never realised it until you rejected me, but Lulu is my match is so many ways." Nessa could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "She understands me, she and I see the world the same way."

"I've been telling you that for years," she teased gently.

"And just when I finally have her, she's been torn away from me." His tone turned icy. "I will find that brother of hers and rip him limb from limb for the hurt he's caused her – and for taking Sarah. I'm not going to stop looking until I find him and when I do..."