If It Meant Living: Mass Effect 1

13: No Return

“You did WHAT?”  Shepard stared at Ambassador Udina in utter disbelief.

 “We’ve locked out the Normandy’s primary systems.  You’re grounded.”

“I – you – are you insane!”

“It’s time for you to leave Commander Shepard.”

It’s entirely possible that she was about to take a swing at him – though in retrospect she would never admit to that fact.  Regardless, Garrus stepped up and put a gentle but firm hand on her arm.

“Come on Commander, let’s get out of here.”

She gave Udina one last glare, full of icy hatred, then turned and stormed out of the Council Chamber.

***

Shepard stood, hands on the Normandy lockers, arms outstretched, head hanging.  A hundred scenarios raced through her mind.  She thought of every trick she had ever tried – or seen tried – or even read about being tried.  Nope, none of those would work.  She considered another meeting with the Council or with Alliance Command and whose door would be best to kick down to get those meetings.  Gave up in frustration when she realized the Reapers would be ripping the Citadel apart while the bureaucrats either put up new doors to block her or found an opening in the calendar.

If Ashley died for nothing, if all this was for nothing, if they were all going to die… 

She slammed her open palm into the locker then slid down to the floor.

And found Kaidan looking down at her.

“Shepard – are you okay?” he asked, echoing her question of the night before.

“No.  No, I am not okay.  Goddammit!”  She slammed her hand back into the locker, just to hear the sound reverberate through the room.

He rubbed his jaw with his hand.  “So where do you think the best view will be when the Reapers roll through?  If we have to sit it out, may as well get a good seat.”

She remembered her not so different thoughts back on Feros.  The odds never truly mattered in the games of life and death.  She took a deep breath and calmed herself.  She would find a way.

“We lost the battle, not the war.  We just need to take a little initiative.”

“You have something up your sleeve, Shepard?  What am I saying, when don’t you?  That’s what I love– appreciate about you.”

She blinked.  “What did you say?”

He dropped his chin to his chest – possibly so she couldn’t see his eyes.  “I said that’s what I appreciate about you.  Which I do.”

She cocked her head and stared – currently at his forehead.  “Okay.”

After several seconds of silence he seemed to think he was in the clear and raised his head – and found her eyes waiting for him.

She quirked a slight grin to make him feel more at ease, but kept staring.  To his tremendous credit, he didn’t look away.  What were they doing…

After what felt like hours but in reality was probably only seconds, he reached out and offered her a hand up.  But…she came off the floor with too much speed…or he pulled her up too hard…or an unseen force intervened and pushed her…whatever the cause, in a split second she was in his arms.

The universe shrank down to the meter encompassing them.

She pulled back – but just enough to be able to look into his eyes.