The Comeback

Chapter 5 - Dreams

Chapter 5 - Dreams

She laughs out loud, hugging her sides as she kept rolling on her back while we rest on the grass, enjoying the summer day. I am smiling, fascinated by seeing her laughing like that although she is laughing at me and not with me. “That makes no sense, you idiot!” She tells me and I shrug.

We are at the park after we went to have our favourite ice creams. Blackberries and cream, her favourite. Chocolate and mint for me. We were literally doing nothing, just watching the clouds when she started to point out shapes. Bunnies, ice cream, a hand… but I took it a bit farther. I started saying very specific things completely unrelated.

“C’mon, that totally looked like the Abzorbaloff after he eats Ms Schmidt, dancing We’re All In This Together. How can’t you see it?” I repeat, making a reference to the episode Love and Monsters from Doctor Who, High School Musical and our Calculus professor in high school.

“You’re nuts! It looks like a daisy,” she tells me and I quint my eyes, trying to see what she sees. But nope. I still see the Abzorbaloff.

“Nope, you’re wrong. It looks nothing like that flower. Cass, you’re blind.” She laughs again and I know it would be nice to just accept what she says, but my stubbornness and randomness to see shapes in the clouds is making her laugh, so I keep going. What I love the most about Cass is her laughter. I’d do anything to make her laugh.

“It’s a daisy!” She repeats sitting straight and smacking my arm.

“Oi!” I protest grabbing her wrist. “What happened with the no violence policy?”

“You’re saying nonsense! It’s a daisy!” She insists, trying to hit me again so I grab both of her wrists and pull her towards me. She loses her balance and lands on my chest, but keeps fighting me so I roll with her, pinning her against the grass.

“It’s an Abzorbaloff!” I exclaim and she is moving frantically, trying to escape.

“A daisy!” She protests still fighting me so I hold her tighter until she gives up and stops moving. But then my heart stops when I notice how close we are and how easy it would be to lean in and kiss her… to just show her how I feel.

She starts to lose her smile, probably wondering what’s wrong with me and I’m about to do something, but someone throws a ball in our direction and a Golden Retriever runs over us. Just like that. I roll away and blink confused for three seconds before Cass bursts out laughing again. I look at her and I notice her hair is even messier than usual, this time it has leaves and grass on it and other things the dog left behind. At the sight, I start laughing again.

Well, it wasn’t the time and I don’t think I was going to tell her anyways… I can never gather the courage to tell her how I feel. Sometimes I fear it’s going to be too late when I finally decide to confess my feelings.

+ + + + +

I wake up after that dream with a weird feeling, a lump in my throat telling me it was too late at the end, but too late for what? And why am I having these dreams with Cassidy? These are not dreams of a future, these are dreams of a past that I have never had. A past with her, but I never met her before the day I woke up.

Why do I dream of being another guy? Someone who knew Cassidy, someone who was in love with her?

But that’s not the weirdest part. Oh no, the weirdest part is that these dreams don’t feel like dreams, they feel like memories. Like it actually happened. Like we went to that shop to get ice creams, like we went to the park and we were watching clouds, like we were ran over by a golden dog.