you were my best four years

chapter 14

"Thomas."

He's in dream land.

In the rare occasions Thomas can remember his dreams, he's usually on the run. He's usually running through stone-walled mazes, shouting for someone in the distance. He's filled with a sense of panic as he sprints past the intricately designed labyrinth, sweat dripping down his back. His throat is parched and his eyes are burning with fatigue, but for some reason he knows he has to keep running.

But in this dream, the labyrinth is gone. There's a scorched out Earth appears in front of him, instead. In the distance, he can see mountains and he knows that's where he wants to be, but he just can't figure out why. Sand coats the ground before him and soon all he can see is sand. Sand is dancing into his eyes, sand is crawling into his pants - soon, all he can even think about is sand.

"Thomas," His mother urges him a bit more sharply, taking him out of dreamland and shaking his shoulder harsher he would have liked. "Wake up. You have a visitor.

He's really not in the mood to see his Aunt Susan or her army of rumbling children. His heart still hurts and his mind is full of foul thoughts, too foul for the ears of innocent eight year old children.

He mumbles something and turns over on his side, facing away from her. Sleep slowly begins to escape him and his sand-filled dream begins to disappear. Sunlight pours in through the curtains and drapes Thomas's eyelids, but his heart is full of too much sadness.

"Thomas," His mother prods him with a much louder voice. "Newt's downstairs. His plane is leaving in three hours, please don't keep him -"

Thomas had bolt up the minute she said Newt and is almost halfway down the stairs before he realizes he hasn't brushed his teeth or changed out of his clothes from last night. He sees the bottom of Newt's figure, his pure white sneakers, waiting for him and turns his body back up the stairs.

Although, against better judgement, he turns back and continues his way down the stairs and it's not until he's standing face to face with Newt that he realizes he has no idea what to say.

Newt lifts his head up, with his light brown eyes and bright pink nose. Thomas's weary eyes perceive sand to be on top of the blond's messy hair, but Newt's winter coat and soaking boots tell him otherwise. "Hi."

"Hey."

He wants to ask, How did you get here? Are you cold? Do you have a headache? Do you need medicine? Are you hungry? Do you need soup?

But Newt keeps opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. He starts pacing in front of Thomas, until he inhales a deep breath and stops to look him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Thomas raises his eyebrow. "For what?"

Newt inhales another breath, trying to refrain from pacing again. "I don't - this is going to sound horrible, I know I'm sorry - but, I don't remember what I said exactly last night. Sonya told me you left in a hurry and that I had said some pretty nasty things about you. So I'm sorry."

"You told me I'm childish. That I should just accept my friendship with Teresa is over. That I'm the one who won't grow up." Thomas reminds him quietly, avoiding his eyes.

When he finally does look back up at Newt, the other boy has his head in his hand and is biting his lip. "Look, Thomas -"

"It's true, isn't it?" Thomas says quietly. "I want everything to stay the way it is because I can't accept change."

"So what if it's true?" Newt asks, with a dry laugh. "I'm the one who tried to fly to Neverland because I was afraid of going to college. We're both insane in the membrane. That doesn't mean I should have said it."