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I'm speedin' up tha process lol

*2 months later - March*
*Houston*

Janae POV:

These last couple months, Kirk and I been distant. And I have no idea why. Ion know if it's cuz I got my tubes tied. Or fa a totally different reason. But he's gone doin' shows na. And will be gone fa awhile. So bein' wit our kids and Aug and MeMe...has been my distraction....

Mariah: "Mm. Beybe right there"

Me: "Maaaaan. Y'all sound like y'all fuckin'"

August/Mariah: "I wish"

August: "Me rubbin' ha back is as close as I will prolly get. But if she let me, I'll rub on it"

Me: "Eww! So nasty"

August: "Juss tellin' tha truth" He said laughin'

Me: "Well lie sometimes"

Mariah: "He can do dat very well"

August: "Oh word?"

Me: "Is dat slight shade?"

Mariah: "Not shade if he knows it"

August: "You right. But Imma rememba you said dat"

Mariah: "*giggles* Cállate (Shut up)."

August: "I know what dat means"

I laugh ta myself

Mariah: "Anywho. Where's Kirk?"

His name leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Me: "Out. Doin' shows"

August: "You said dat dry as hell. Y'all good?"

Me: "Ta be real. Ion know. At dis point...it's slowly goin' downhill into tha pits of hell"

Mariah: "You said dat wit sadness. So it's eitha sum'n' heavy on yo heart or on yo mind"

Me: "Both..."

I look at'em then my hand

Me: "Back in December...I uhh. I had an abortion"

I look at'em and dey both look shocked

Me: "Yup. And I regret dat every single day..."

Mariah: "What made you do dat?"

Me: "He didn't-Well doesn't want moe kids. When I went ta him, I wanted ta know his reaction befoe I tol' him. And he made dat clear dat...he wanted no moe kids. When I tol' him I was pregnant...I left it at dat. I was pissed. And kinda hurt. So I left. I was out fa a few hours. I debated tha whole time. Then I decided ta do it. Then I realized I really wanted dat beybe"

August: "So why'd you do it?"

Me: "Cuz I felt dat tha beybe wouldn't have been loved tha same as Kira and K.J..."

I wipe my cheek

Me: "Dats why. And...I didn't want tha child ta grow up like dat. *sniffles* Ion believe in abortions. I really don't. Dat whole situation...fucked up our marriage. I lost love fa him when he said dat. I made him leave. I didn't want him in tha house. We were basically separated. We got into dis argument dat lead me ta get divorce papers..."

August: "Oh damn"

Mariah: "But y'all look so happy"

Me: "Actin'. Dats all it is. And because of dat situation...I got my tubes tied. So he's not happy bout dat..."

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