Four Years Lost, Together Forever (G×G)

I Can't Anymore

4 weeks later

"Alex what are you talking about?" Jade asked utterly confused about the speech Alex had just spilled without much warning in her office.

"I just can't keep doing this." Alex said, sounding like she was out of breathe. Jade stood there confused, eyeing Alex up and down trying to figure out where all this was coming from. She couldn't help the frustration that was beginning to build up. 

"What do you mean that you 'can't keep doing this.'  What exactly are you trying to say Alex?" Jade asked as she moved closer. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

"About us Jade." Alexa replied almost in a whisper as if she didn't want to admit it.

There was a long pause between them. Jade simply continued to stare at Alex, trying to decide if she was being serious or not. 

A million things were running through Alex's head. She was scared and nervous, but she knew she had to do this. She knew she needed to end things with Jade. If she stayed then she would have to tell Jade the truth about what's happening which would mean telling her family the truth as well, which meant she would be admitting to being gay and hated by her family; something she didn't want to happen.

"Tell me you're lying." Jade said, her voice wavering in strength and confidence.

"I'm sorry." Alex said softly, not daring to meet the eyes of the older woman knowing they were her weakness.

Jade didn't know what to think. She wanted to believe this was some type of sick joke, that she was dreaming, that she was imagining the words coming out of the Alex's mouth. Deep down though, she knew this was for real and she wasn't sure what exactly she should be feeling right now. She didn't want to lose Alex, she was the love of her life; her soulmate. A part of her wanted to get angry and lash out, but that would give the younger girl a bigger reason to end things between them. So Jade tried be her best to calm herself, taking in a deep breathe before spoke.

"Why?" Is all Jade really wanted to know. Alex was still looking down at the floor and said nothing. "Alex." Jade said in the softest tone and approached Alex, holding up her chin gently so that their eyes met. "Why are you doing this? Why are you breaking things so suddenly?"

Alex took a deep breathe gathering all her strength. "Things haven't been the same."

"Meaning?"

"Ever since that day when we fought things are just not the same." Alex said gently removing Jade's soft hands away from her face.

"It was one fight Alex, just one." 

"But it was a fight in which we both said hurtful things." Alex countered.

"We're not perfect. Maybe the things we said about each other might be true, but that doesn't and it shouldn't change the way we feel about each other. We can work things out." Jade said reaching out and pulling Alex close to her chest.

"Stop Jade. You're making this harder than it should be." Alex said pushing Jade away from her. 

"Since when is breaking up easy? Since when is it easy to forget three years of sharing your life with someone? Tell me Alex because I just don't fucking understand." Jade said, feeling her anger rising.

"Why is it so hard for you to understand that I just don't want to be with you." 

"It's easy to understand when you give me a reason that actually makes sense." Jade shot back.

"Things changed Jade. Our relationship changed." 

"And that's the thing that doesn't make sense! What changed? A lot of things could've changed for all I know." Jade said clenching her fists at her sides.

"I just don't want to be with you anymore." Alex said turning around holding back her tears.

"Alex if you're here to breakup with me at least give me a real reason; the truth." Another longer paused took place before Jade spoke again. "Alex." She said, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist from behind making the younger woman tense up. "Just tell me one thing." Jade said gently turning Alex around so they were facing each other. "Do you still love me?"

"W-Wha..."

"Just answer me." 

Alex does love Jade, but she knew she couldn't say it because Jade is stubborn and would go out of her way to win her back. Alex had no other option but to break Jade's heart knowing this would haunt her forever. She took one final breathe and met the older woman's gaze hiding her true feelings the best she could.

"I don't love you anymore...the spark is just not there anymore." Alex said with a stone cold face Jade had never seen before.

Jade let go of Alex and took a step back looking defeated; something which was never the case for Jade. Jade felt herself breaking slowly and painfully; breaking into something unfix-able. She stared deep into Alex's eyes and in the blink of an eye her entire demeanor changed into something menacing, heartless, and bitterness.

"Leave." She said without any emotion 

"Ja-"

"I said leave!" Jade yelled.

"Please don't act l-"

"Don't fucking tell me what to do Alexandra! Get the fuck out of my office, out of my building, out of my life." Jade said turning around making her way over to her desk. She didn't turn around until she heard the door to her office open and close.