Short Story Collection

Broken

I have never took stories of heartbreak seriously. They always sounded exaggerated to me. I never felt what truly was love for anyone, besides my family, anyway. Then he came into my life.

He came in randomly, just out of no where. Well, really he came from the other side of my Biology class. I didn't think he was much of anything. That is, until I began speaking to him. He was so lively. My words cannot describe him. The more I talked to him the more beautiful he became. He was more beautiful than anything I could ever find. He brightened my day unintentionally. He set a fire inside of me. Feelings I didn't know where possible initiated. I lived in denial of my true feelings. 

How I never expected him to ever return even some of the feelings I had. We both slowly became too involved in each other. He wasn't allowed to date anyway. So I became a problem for him although he never said that. I knew what I was. He wanted to try and be friends. However, he couldn't keep a distance. I told him to cut me out, to delete my contact information. I told him in tears to forget about me. Gasping for air, I told him how I truly felt. My last words to him were that I love him.

Something cracked inside me. I held my pain filled chest wondering how this all happened. Why did this all happen. The emotional pain was too much, it became physical. 

I never believed heartbreak stories until then, when I was sobbing in second period. Or when I cried on the drive home. When I had to pull over because I couldn't see past my tears. When I had to pull myself together so my family didn't know. When I cried myself to sleep. Or the next day when I was cut off. I never believed heartbreak stories until then. 

I didn't believe the stories until it was me wanting to scream. I had to hold one hand over my mouth and the other on my stomach or chest. I had to flee to the shower so I could cry without my family knowing and ended up collapsing onto the shower floor sobbing into the ground. I felt so much pain, but I also felt nothing at all. Here I am crying myself to sleep again. I wake up and the sadness returns. I'll be hurting for a long time. I can only wonder how he's doing. I can only cry and not know what to do.

I miss him so much. I want to talk to him about how stupid I've been acting. I want him to playfully make fun of me like he used to. I want to tell him how much I miss him but it won't help anything. 

He'll forget about me soon. I can only hope that I do the same, but I can't see it happening. I feel like I'm never going to forget him. I just want to keep my hope up. 

I hope one day we can meet again with the same feelings. Maybe I'll be a bit less broken. Maybe you'll be able to have the feelings you want. But until then I'll cry myself to sleep...

just hoping.