DAMN YOUR KISS; ryden

Chapter Eighteen: Out The Back Door, Goddamn, But I Love Her Anyway

I either give up too easily, or I don't give up enough Brendon thought to himself as he slumped down onto the edge of the sidewalk, pushing his face into his hands dejectedly. It was the seventh place he'd looked for Ryan, to find a big fat nothing.

He'd gone everywhere he thought that Ryan could be - from the studio, to the hotel Ryan was staying in, to the record shop they'd use to frequent all those years ago, and everywhere in between. He'd even called Spencer, in the hopes he'd heard from him, and after two calls going to voicemail, Spencer had told him 'Haven't seen him since he was last in the studio a couple of days ago'.

He had to face it. He'd obviously skipped town. Gone back to wherever he lived now, leaving Brendon behind in the long since settled dust of his car tracks.

It hurt. And Brendon knew he was entirely to blame. If he just hadn't been such a fucking dick, after that night at the studio ...

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." He muttered to himself, kicking a stone beside the toe of his shoe, causing it to skitter away before plopping down a drain.

He was still feeling sorry for himself and lost in the bitter regret, when the shadow fell over him, and a husky, but utterly feminine voice asked "Brendon Urie?"

Brendon bit back his groan, hoping to god it was not some teen girl that had recognised him because he was really not in the mood when he looked up to see-

An elfin-like face, with big wide dark eyes accentuated by heavy black eyeliner and kohl, full red painted lips and a blond pixie cut. She was wearing a pretty white lace dress, and white suede lace-up heels, and in her hand was an actual, honest to god white lace parasol. And although he'd never formally met her before, he knew exactly who she was.

He straightened, before thinking better of it, and stood, brushing his jeans of dirt, and pointing to her. "Elizabeth ... Berg. Right?"

She blinked her big eyes and her lips pulled up in a polite smile. "That's right." She said. "But call me Z. Everyone does."

"I..." Brendon's jaw opened, but any possible words caught dumb in his throat. "Fancy seeing you here."

She gave a polite giggle, nodding, and twirling the parasol. "Quite a coincidence."

"Are you..." he lowered his voice, and looked away from her, her almost disconcerting gaze, at his feet, nudging the toe of one of his converse against the other. "Are you here with Ryan?"

She paused, seeming to consider her response - or what she should tell him. "I was..." she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I mean, he asked me to accompany him down here for the week. So yes, you could say I'm with him. But obviously not right now."

Brendon nodded. "Obviously." And then he had a light bulb moment, hope kicking him in the chest. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know where he is right now, though?"

"Unfortunately, I would not." She said regretfully. And she watched as the hope she saw light behind his eyes begin to flicker and diminish. "But I..." she put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm seeing him tonight. When he comes back to the hotel room. I could tell him you were looking for him."

Brendon smiled at her, Z, this strange, sweet person. "I ... I wouldn't. We didn't part on the best of terms." If she did tell him ... then Ryan would bolt for sure.

One of her eyebrows arched. "No?" she pursed her lips. "He did mention that you two spent a rather wonderful night at the studio."

"It was a wonderful night." He nodded. "But I fucked it up."

Z frowned, but it was more of a sad frown, than an angry one. "He did leave this morning with a just a note. Off on an adventure. No phone. Have a nice day without me. He'd underlined without three times." Her frown only deepened. "Seems like he doesn't want to be found."

Brendon bit back a sarcastic oh, you think? And instead he sighed, and pushed his face into his hands. "You know I totally deserve this. God, I'm such an idiot."

Z's hand came down on Brendon's shoulder, an oddly strong grip for someone who looked so dainty. And she was giving him a steely look. "Whatever happened between you two is no business of mine. But I don't care how much of an ass you've been, you do not deserve this. Neither does Ryan. You know he talked non-stop about you the entire journey here? Brendon this, Brendon that. It drove me to distraction. I know that whenever Ryan gets upset, he tries to go off the grid. And after that, he moves on. But the fact that you two don't have the greatest track record on parting terms yet he still wants to go and potentially get hurt all over again? It means that you both need to get your head out your asses. Kiss and fucking make-up." And to home in her point, she gave his cheek a sharp slap.

Brendon gave her a moody pout. "That's all well and good, but in case you need to hear your own words again - he's going off grid. He doesn't want to be found. Least of all by me."

Z opened her mouth to retort, and instead closed it, something flashing behind her eyes. Had Ryan been there he would have known it to be the look she got when an idea occurred to her. "I'm having dinner with him tonight."

Brendon snorted. "Good for you."

"No." she shook her head. "I'm having dinner with him. Tonight." She suddenly let go of his shoulder, and snapped her fingers. "Tonight. At a restaurant."

Brendon caught on. "You mean...?"

She nodded, cupping her hands to her mouth to hide her glee. "You take my place at that dinner table and wait for him. Lord, boy, go get some roses or something. You've got to make sure he doesn't run right out on you there and then."

Brendon hugged Z again. "You're brilliant."

She grinned. "Can you call my mom and tell her that?"

ps enjoy the fab photoset of z in the sidebar. She's just so pretty and elfin and awesome and asfghjkl, I adore her so much.