Therapy (on hold for right now)

Chap.3

She sat scowling, ready to continue her argument on why I should have a coming-home party.

My body steamed with anger and it overflowed, rolling out in crude language that'd I barely used in my vocabulary.

"I don't fucking want it! Why can't you get that through your thick skull."

My voice lowered to a whisper, tired of arguing back and forth.

"We're having the party! End of discussion, I don't want to hear anymore excuses." She just didn't understand my reasoning.

N-no one cared enough. They would only show me pity, and that's not something I want. I've pitied myself more times then I could remember since being emitted into the hospital.

Picking at the gauze around my wrists, I ignored her continuing banter about the up-coming matter. For all I care, she could throw the damn thing, but that didn't mean I'd have to show up.

Besides, she wasn't doing it for me anyway. It was only to uphold her 'I'm a caring mother' image.

Though her colleagues could give a flying fuck, they only wanted the money that she was pumping out.

"We'll use your favorite color darling, the whole house will be done in pink!" A scoff escapes my throat.

That enough proved my point. She didn't know anything about me, not one iota. My mother never really took the time to get to know me, even when dad didn't know the truth.

Yeah she use to take me places and do girly things with me, but that all changed. Her whole world fell apart as soon as dad found out the truth.

The truth that broke his heart, and ruined his marriage. After that, she didn't love me anymore.

It was as if she gave up trying.

As a child it hurt me, I felt dispirited and thrown away. I tried everything to get her attention.

It was evident...I only wanted her praise, just once. Though the praise that I did get usually came from my dad.

He'd praised me in almost everything I did. Treated me as if I were his daughter.

"A'Luna Faith! Are you listening to me?"

My eyes flicker to her briefly. "If I said I were, would you leave?" Grunting in agitation, she stands up.

"That's it! I'm going to plan the party how ever I see fit, and you will attend young lady!"

She leaves hastily out of my hospital room, slamming the door behind her. Finally! "You didn't have to treat her like that."

I flinch in surprise. "She deserves it."

Nurse Lisa waves a hand at me. "Well I don't know the answer to that." My eyes follow her around my spacious room. "It wasn't a question Lisa, it was a statement."

She chuckle and grabs my wrists gently with her cold hands.

"Honey, your heart is not as desolate as you think. It is still overflowing with love and compassion."

Cleaning the cut on my wrist, her cool fingers grab a clean alcohol wipe. "You love her, but it is covered with all that hate."

My eyes close and I let out a hiss of pain, when she applies the alcohol anesthetic. "It's okay to be skeptical. I can clearly see that she's uhh, how could I put it?"

A sarcastic smile lightens my face. "A stuck up bitch, vying for attention and money?" Lisa lets out a small chuckle.

"Just...try, because you'll never know when it's her last day here on earth."

Our eyes connect and mines feel with anguish. "D-don't...I've been trying for eight years. Don't you think that, that's enough trying for one person?"

"No, but it's true...it shouldn't only be you, but her too."

Wrapping the last layer of gauze around my wrist she stands up. "Lisa...I'm a mistake."

I smile sadly, as she grabs my hand. "I'm her mistake...she'll never really love me. I've ruined her marriage."

"Honey, no matter what—you're never a mistake. The good lord put you on the earth for a reason now get some sleep. She whispers and grab a cup filled with two pills.

"Here, take these it'll help with the throbbing in your wrists. Press the nurse button on that remote if you ever want to talk. I'm always here honey."

Hugging me, she rubs my hair.

"Do you have kids?" Lisa smiles sadly, and shakes her head. "I did, he died in a car accident at seventeen."

I hug her tighter.

"I bet you were a great mom. If you ever need me, come talk. I'm not crazy you know, I've just been going through things."

I hear her laugh, and she backs away wiping her eyes.

"I'll make sure I drop by. Good night Faith...oh your dad called. He said that he would come early tomorrow, he's been working on getting you out of the hospital."

A bright smile lights up my face.

"Really?" Nodding her head she grabs the medicine cart.

"Yeah, besides you've been here already for three weeks. You should be better by now. Your cuts are healing well, just stop picking with the gauze and you'll be fine."

She says sending my a pointed glare, and my fingers inch away from the fabric wrapped around my wrist.

"Now get some rest, you might have a big day ahead of you. Don't forget to call me when you leave, because I'm going to always be there for you honey."

Gods do I hope so.