Why I'm Here

The Beginning of the End

Feb 17th, 2015
I remember the night that changed my life as if it had happened the night before. It had started out as a regular Friday night. There was a football game and then a party. My best friend Claire drove me to the party. On the way we had stopped to get gas. I went inside to grab a water and as I was walking towards the store I saw him. Leaning against his car in his usual black skinny jeans and black shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned enough to see a tattoo on his chest as well as some on his arms. He was smoking a cigarette and talking to another man. As I walked past he watched me as if he was going to say something. But he didn't. I hadn't realized in that moment that I had met the man who would change my life.

Later that night at the party I had been hanging in the kitchen talking to some friends when he walked in. He walked over to a couple of guys in the corner and handed them a package. Then he looked at me and in that moment I decided I had to know him. So I followed him outside.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"It's Matty darling, did you want something?" He said calmly.
"I just wanted to know who you were. I've never seen you around."
"Well get in the car and figure it out."

I think it was that moment that i look back on and wish I had realized what I was getting myself into. There was just something about him that made me think he was going to hurt me. That loving him would be the worst decision of my life. But I got in the car and that's why I'm here now. Being forced to write my story in a journal by a therapist.