amnesia // 5sos

Chapter 9.

*Ashton's POV* 

*1 month later* 

I looked over to Jade and Luke in maths, they were snuggled close whilst watching a film before christmas break. I was sat on the other table with Abbie, Michael and Calum. Luke and Jade kissed each other's cheeks, whilst giggling at each other. 

Jade and I haven't spoke since the kiss, I don't even know if she's read my letter. It's probably buried at the bottom of her bag, things have been..more than awkward between us, and I've hardly spoken to Luke. I just feel so awkward and bad for kissing his girlfriend, but in a way I know I shouldn't feel bad because I still really like the girl. Which, I know I shouldn't, but you can't help feelings; right? Like, I didn't choose to fall for Kayla, it happened. 

But Jade, she's good for Luke. I haven't seen him this happy since he went out with this girl in year 9, he was so so happy for once and now he's with Jade..he hasn't let that smile wipe off his face. 

I can't ruin that relationship, it's perfect.  

They make each other laugh and smile, I haven't ever seen him laugh so hard. She does really bring out the best in him, he was so sad before he met her.  

She was his ray of sunshine, making him happy and full of joy. 

But seeing them together tore me apart, more and more each day. I secretly thought that she'd be better off with me, I'd love her more than Luke does; which seems impossible, but it isn't. I'd kiss her passionately when she felt down, take her on surprise dates and sneak up on her and hug her when she least expected it.  

I'd finally get my kiss in the rain. 

I looked over back to Jade and Luke, who looked deep into conversation about something, Jade's smile stretched as Luke kissed her lips lightly. 

I can feel my heart tearing in half.

*Luke's POV* 

"Luke," Jade whispered in my ear, I looked down at her and smiled. 

"Yes?" 

"I think I'm ready, well..we're ready,"  

"F-for what?" I stuttered, I think I knew what she meant, I just didn't want to believe it. 

"Are you kidding?" She laughed. 

"Of course I am," I lied, laughing. "If anything, I'm ready too." I've been wanting her to be ready for this day for a month, I just didn't want to corrupt her crippling innocence. 

"Well?" Jade asked. 

"Well what?" I asked, focusing on her face. 

"Well, don't you want to?" 

"Of course I do you nut," I kissed her forehead, "I've been ready for a while beautiful." I added, laughing. "Come around mine tonight, the boys are going out..I look forward to it," Class had finished, I threw my bag over my shoulder, as Jade did to hers. 

She kissed my cheeks, "Okay, I have English and then Science with Cal. So I'll stay around yours," Jade smiled, "I'll see you tonight."  

I smiled at her, I was full of nerves, not just for this; but for everything else, the show we're headlining too..okay, maybe it's more that Jade's ready for this. Let's just get this straight, I'm not a virgin. I love her, I really do; and I've been ready for a while.  

I guess the time has come. 

*next lesson* 

I spent the rest of science, riddled with emotions over Jade's sudden decision. I don't know whether I felt excited, sad, happy or worried. I don't want her to feel like she needs to have sex with me to try and impress me, or try to fit in. I love her either way, no matter what she decided.  

I looked at the clock, since maths time had gone painfully slow. I watched the clock, occassionally averting my attention to the work sheet on my desk, I couldn't concerntrate on it properly though.  I was getting worried now, i wanted it to be a good night, with cuddles and a film first, I want it to feel right first; I didn't want to rush into it.

*later that night* 

knock knock

"Luke, we're going out now. Jade's here too," Calum said, opening the door to the beautiful girl who stood before them. The three boys slided out of the door and made way for Jade to get through, she was dressed in a pait of acid washed denim jeans with a red, black and white plaid shirt, wearing black vans to throw the outfit together perfectly, in the perfect messy bun.

"Bye guys," I smiled, latching onto Jade's waist, never wanting to let go, as far as I'm concerned she's mine. "You're looking very beautiful tonight, babe." I smiled at her, as I leant against the wall.

"Thank you," she replied back, showing her perfect smile to me and gfazing at me with the blue orbs, that captivated me with every look. I turned over, so Jade was leant against the wall, putting her hands over her head and putting my palms on the wall. I planted kisses all over her face, softly, leaving her wanting more; I knew what I was doing. I unbuttoned the top half of Jade's shirt, revealing her collar bones and a white vest, I eyed up her collar bones planting kisses dowen her neck all down to them, leaving purple marks across the surface sending her into paradise. "You're perfect," I panted, "I hope you know that," I added, breathing heavier as I planted more kisses. My head was intoxicated with thoughts of Jade and how special she was.

 "I've never loved anoyne as much as I love you,"  With the words Jade just spoke to me, it all clicked. I kissed her harder, smiling into each and every kiss as my fingers locked with hers, feeling the electricity surge between each touch making me jolt. 

"I love you more, you're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

I kissed Jade again tenderly but full of love, picking her up bridal style and carrying her into my room, sending the chills down my spine Jade kissed back her plump, pink lips moving in sync with mine, perfect.