Ch. 37

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Ben texts me and asks if he can come over...I don't really want company but I invite him over anyways.

Ben:
How's Jinxx?

Me:
Still nothing.

Ben:
He'll be alright. He's a tough man.

Me:
I hope you're right.

Ben:
He'll come out of it, darling. Don't worry (puts a hand on my shoulder) I believe in him.

Me:
I do too......anyways, what do you want to do?

Ben:
When was the last time you did anything fun?

Me:
When Jeremy wasn't in a goddamn coma.

Ben:
How does Dave and Buster's sound?

Andy:
Like you're trying to get her to go on a date.

Ben:
Just friends, man. What do you say, Asher?

Me:
I guess that's fine.

Ben:
(stands up)
Great! Let's go.

Andy:
I'm coming with you.

Ashley:
Me too.

Ben and I go out and I actually have a nice time....I perform for the first time with BVB and the crowd actually kind of loved me...a two and a half years passes by, Jeremy still hasn't woken up...I'm starting to lose faith and start to believe that my husband is gone forever. I still visit him three times a month and call the hospital every day, but the doctors think that he will never wake up.

Since Ben and the rest of Asking are okay and we're friends again, I had the U.K. court systems exonerate them of the blackmail charge and Ben of the rape charge...because Ben and I are really honestly on good terms. Since I'm now a member of BVB, I send my children to boarding school, so that they can get a good education. After all, Alex is 12 now and Sophie, John and Ashlyn are now 6....they deserve a good education while mommy is on tour supporting them. We go on tour with Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce the Veil, Paramore, Arch Enemy and Asking Alexandria and the first night is a BLAST! We party and have a good time. I'm sitting in the club room we're using as a party room. Savage- Swing comes on the speakers and Ben looks at me....why not? I think to myself and dance with him...laughing and having a good time. We go back to his bus and laugh and watch a movie...he puts a hand on my thigh and looks at me.

Me:
Ben, personal space.

Ben:
(taking his hand off my thigh)
I'm sorry, love. Want some whiskey on the rocks?

Me:
Please.

He prepares me and himself a drink and we hold up our glasses.

Ben:
To the health of your husband.

Me:
To my husband

*clink*

Ben:
Is he doing any better?

Me:
No, he hasn't come out of his coma for thirty-two months...we're losing hope here.

Ben:
How are the kids handling this?

Me:
Not well, Alex is failing school because of depression.

Ben:
Maybe you should pull her out and homeschool her so she's at least around her family. I know Ash and Alex are close....and CC, Jake and Andy are basically her uncles.

Me:
That's a good idea.

Ben:
May I see a picture of her?

I pull out my phone and show him my all grown-up daughter...he smiles.

Ben:
She looks exactly like you but with ginger hair.

Me:
She is exactly like me...it's quite scary.

Ben:
So, what's to be done about Jinxx? Surely him being in a coma is heartbreaking.

Me:
It really is...and I'm seriously doubting he will ever come out of it...

Ben:
Well, Ivan is in prison for life, what's the next step for you?

Me:
I honestly don't know...I feel like a bad person keeping my husband on life support.

Ben:
He's a fighter, so are you. I bet he'll beat this.

Me:
Ben, it's been almost three years.

Ben:
You gotta stay strong, love.

Me:
I'm trying, but what if being strong isn't enough?

Ben:
Be tough and strong. You should call the hospital, it's nearly three o'clock.

Me:
(I sigh)
What's the point? He's not improving.

Ben:
You gotta at least see....

Me:
Okay.

I call the hospital, nothing....I shake my head and sit back next to Ben. Ben puts his arm around me and I lean my head on his chest.

Me:
What do I do, Ben? I don't want to see him like this for the rest of his life...this is killing my children.

Ben:
(petting my hair)
I know, I'm here for you.

Me:
Thank you.

Ben:
My pleasure....   

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