EVANESCE. / KTH

eighteenth entry

personal thoughts

"talk to me."

i refuse to,

kim taehyung.

i skipped school

five days in a row.

today's a friday.

i usually feel happy on fridays,

but i hate today.

you found me on the way home from school.

and i regret having been caught.

my face turns sour

and i turn it away from you.

it's your third time trying to talk to me today.

you got so annoyed the first time,

you left.

but i was frustrated that you came back

and didn't just leave me here to rot and die.

with me screaming and shouting

from the top of my lungs,

you pull me to seohee's house.

and i find no one to be home.

i don't know why you dragged me here.

i am dressed in my

five day-old outfit from the party

that reeks of beer and sweat.

i have my blanket wrapped around my head.

i go upstairs,

locking myself in the bathroom,

before you can catch me.

finally,

after an hour and a half

of you yelling and yelling,

i open the door

and you leap and hug me.

but i feel nothing.

why?

why do these feelings occur

at the most inconvenient times?

i am supposed to be happy right now.

you take my hand without approval,

dragging me to her room,

seating me on the bed.

"why are you not talking to me?"

you whine,

and shake my hand,

on the verge of tears.

i want to say something.

but i can't.

you look at me deeply in my eyes.

you breathe heavily.

"areum, tell me!" you scream.

and i can't take it any longer.

i am about to explode.

i hear the door downstairs unlock,

and a few voices appear in my head.

"hyukjae..." the voice is gentle, sweet.

but it sounds familiar.

without telling you,

i rush secretly to look down the stairs.

you call after me,

but i am unable to comprehend what you said.

on the green, stained couch,

i find hyukjae.

and seohee.