Peacemaker Kurogane

New Recruit

A/n~ Uh, warning now, there's going to be a lot hinting at depression in this chapter, and maybe the next. If you're not okay with depression, please, do not read.
And to let those who are suffering with it know, if you need to talk, I'm here. I'm getting my degree in psychology for therapy, so, I hope I can be of help...

-Mai's P.O.V.-
Days had passed since Saito came back, and my strength was slowly coming back. I was walking around the headquarters, when I heard muttering coming from the training hall. Curious, I decided to check what the commotion was about.
When I arrived at the hall, I saw a girl roughly about my age, maybe a little younger, standing in the middle of the circle of men, facing off against Shinpachi. Her black hair was up in a high ponytail, her eyes focused on the red head in front of her. She wore hakama and shirt, almost masking her feminine physique.
She used a wooden sword, and held it in a style I had yet to see. I could tell that Shinpachi hasn't seen this kind of stance before, either, let alone the other members. As she fought Shinpachi, I could tell that she had trained for a while using a sword, and she was rather good. On par with most of the captains, good.
She was swift, and her fighting style was overpowering Shinpachi's own style. Her light black hair moved behind her dancing figure, her short slit dress moving in pattern with her body.
The way she moved was graceful, almost like a dancer. Her sword would parry every blow Shinpachi had delivered, her blue eyes watched every move that Shinpachi made, and evaluated what his next move would be. She was a pretty brilliant tactician.
She won the match, earning cheers and claps from the crowd. Hijikata, who was also watching the fight, began talking to her. I couldn't hear what was being said over the cheering, but, I could take a bet that she wanted to be recruited, because that'd be the only reason someone outside the Shinsengumi would come here, let alone fight a captain.
"She's gonna take over your position, Shinju." I heard Yamazaki state behind me, my eyes not leaving the girl's figure. "Won't take her long, either."
I stayed silent, letting the information sink. He's probably just trying to get to me again. I sighed silently, the girl's eyes finally finding mine, a smirk peeled on her face.
Perhaps, he's right. I've been recovering nicely, but, I won't be back to my normal strength. I'll be weaker. So I guess it's no surprise that they want someone to replace me.
"What, doubt me? I gather information, and it's always correct." Yamazaki stated, probably with a huge smirk on his face.
"I know what your job is." I sighed, turning around to face him, and of course I was right on the smirk on his face. "And it's quite obvious that it's gonna happen sooner or later, anyway. Even Sanosuke could piece it together, and he's the definition of nimrod."
I then walked past him back to my room, my heart swelling up. I've dealt with being left behind, and I'm used to his crude comments, so, why does this news hurt me?
I entered my room and propped myself against the wall. While I told myself that no matter what happened to me, I'd never cry. I wouldn't go back to being that weak girl, I told myself that I couldn't.
If I cried, I'd never be able to forgive myself for being so weak. But, at the same time, I knew I was weak. I could barely walk around without help, let alone pick up a sword and fight.
"I'm so pathetic." I muttered, feeling tears leak from my eyes, the cold water streaming down my cheeks, down to my chin, dripping onto my sleeves.
My sobs was the only think that I could hear in this silent room, but even those were barely audible. I muffled my tears so that no one could hear, so that no one saw how much of a mess I really was.
Minutes turned to hours as I sat there, alone, crying my eyes out. I cried until no more came out, and then I just laid on my side, whimpering in pain. All the crying gave me a headache, and my muscles around my stomach were aching. Curling up in my ball probably didn't help, but, I really didn't care. It'd all go away once I fell asleep.
Sleep. The thought tempted me, as I laid on the floor, my eyes heavy and sore. But, I couldn't. Not yet, anyway. I still had things I needed to do, like pack my things. If I'm being replaced, they won't want me here anymore. Which means, they'll kick me out. So, I might as well pack now and be ready for the news, right?
I got up, against my better judgement, and went to my dresser, where I had everything, including folded up boxes. Even though back then, I didn't expect to need them, I still collected the boxes that other members didn't need. Good thing, too, because they're about to become of use. For a reason I'd never expected them to be.
I sighed as I began folding the boxes, slowly, and painfully putting the bigger stuff away. I was gonna leave the small stuff and clothes for last. Though, I was gonna leave my uniform here, for the new girl.
My heart gripped tightly in pain at the thought of her. The girl who'd take my spot, my room, and probably my friends. Yeah, if she takes my spot and I was forced to leave, I'd have to leave Souji, Tetsu, the three goofballs, Ayu, the Vice commanders. I'd have to leave everyone here.
All because I wasn't healing fast enough. All because I've become a disappointment to everyone. All because I was careless and got poisoned. All because, I was too caught up in my fight against who I was sure was Leiko, my sister.
I'm not going to be a burden to anyone any more. I thought, closing the boxes. I'll ask if Tatsu or Ogatsu will help me carry the boxes to my house, then I'll shut myself away, after I shop for food. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. This way, no one can find me. I sighed, my resolve strong. I was going to do this, and not back away...

I do not own Peacemaker, its characters, or plot. I own Mai, Ogatsu, and Leiko only.
Mai: Why am I going through depression? Every time this happens, the character dies.
Me: It won't happen. I need you to progress the story.
Mai: ...
Me: Anyways, see you in the next chapter! I wonder who the new recruit is?
Mai: Of course you know...
Me: Hi hi, read more to find out! Bye!!