It was back.
He could feel it.
The feeling that he called "The Anger",
Even though he knew it wasn't really that.
The voice had come home into his mind.
That voice that persisted.
Insulted.
Jeered.
The voice that cried
you aren't good enough,
you will never be good enough.
The voice that spat
no one loves you,
no one wants you,
no one needs you.
The voice that persuaded
just one more cigarette,
just one more,
and it will all be better.
The voice that screamed
you are shameful,
you are disgusting,
you are a disgrace.
The voice that coaxed
just take the jump,
go ahead and slice your arm,
all you have to do is smoke your life away.
He hated it,
hated it,
hated it.
But it never went away,
it stayed in his mind
and consumed him
and imprisoned him.
don't tell anyone about me,
it said.
no one will believe you,
it said.
they'll say you've gone mad,
it said.
and Sirius believed it.
The Anger said it was his only friend
and Sirius believed it.
He sat on the ledge of the tower
every night,
alone
with a pack of cigarettes as his only company.
I'm here too,
don't forget about me,
the voice said.
He was a prisoner of his own mind,
and he was consumed
with fear
and panic
and anger.
leave your friends behind,
they don't care,
they don't know the real you,
it said.
you don't need her,
Jessie didn't believe you
when you said you were sorry,
we don't need her,
it said.
So he sat on the edge of the tower
every night
alone.
centimeters from the end
with the voice in his head
named Anger
saying jump,
jump,
jump.
a/n so I was sad when I wrote this chapter and yeah, this happened. enjoy!
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Bomb // Sirius Black
Fanfictiontrigger warning It wasn't meant to end this way. It wasn't meant to end in yelling and throwing. It wasn't meant to end with Jessie storming out of the common room in tears. It wasn't meant to end with Sirius punching the wall until he bled. The...
