It was only 1 AM.
It was too early to break- too early to feel the fuzz sticking to her walls shatter and smother her. Her family had just barely fallen asleep but she lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling patterns and just wishing everything would end.
That'd she never have to wake up and feel skin and emotion melt in her palms. Feel her hand turn rugged from every time she'd fallen to rock bottom and had to claw her way back up to surface only to be met with a picket fence that said 'No dog's allowed'.
She'd say goodbye to her family knowing full damn well if she crossed the road and truck came barreling her way she'd turn to the machine with open arms and a 'god, thank you.'
God knows she'd never be cautious.
She'd never keep her balance and assure her footing while stepping along the sides of the bridge. She'd never warily look both ways before the crossing the street. She'd never leap out of way of the car that didn't stop when the school bus dropped her weary soul off at home.
1 AM, a monday morning. Already everything was too hard and once again god knows she won't be sleeping tonight. Tonight, like most other nights, would be dedicated to watching the ceiling s if it would change shape if she looked hard enough, and praying maybe the darkness of the room would swallow her up and eat her whole.
Tonight would be yet another internalized goodbye.
