Angelic

Ev ~ 36

It didn't happen how I thought it would. I imagined it would be cold, awkward. I imagined one of us would mess it up, like he would bite me on accident. After all, no ones first kiss was perfect.

But it wasn't.

The moment our lips met, he froze, and I thought he would pull away and silently regret doing this. But the longer we stood like this, only our mouths touching, I realized that he hadn't frozen. He was just kissing me so slow it hurt.

He pulled away, leaning his forehead on mine. I waited for him to open his eyes, needing to see the look in them. But when he did, I didn't find any regret or embarrassment. I just saw me, reflected in his widening irises.

I understood then. I understood that this entire time, he had been feeling what I felt.

I brought my hands up to his neck, pulling his lips back down onto mine, kissing him faster this time. For a moment, I was selfish enough to not think about him—to wonder if he wanted to go slower, or if I was hurting him. I was used to horny middle-aged men who enjoyed kissing like they were going to die the next day.

But Raphael didn't pull away. Instead, he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I left kisses along his jaw, his neck, kissing him like he was the oxygen I was suffocating for. I brushed my lips over a spot on his neck, just below his ear, and heard a moan fall from his mouth. He turned his head, moving his mouth back to mine.

No one had ever kissed me like he did. Like he wanted to be gentle, but at the same time, there was a desperation he felt deep inside of him, down to his bones.

I had never wanted someone to kiss me so badly. I had never wanted anyone to kiss me—period.

His hands ran down my sides, gripping the back of my thighs. Suddenly he was lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He moved to the bed and my heart beat faster. It was pounding in my chest, with such ferocity that I thought it would break out of my chest. I knew he could hear every pulse. Knowing he knew the effect he had on me made my cheeks go bright red.

We crashed onto the bed, the pillows just above my head, Raphael hovering over me. I leaned up to kiss him again, but he pushed me down. I caught a glimpse of his devilish smile before his mouth brushed across my skin. His hands were everywhere—my waist, my stomach, my thighs. His lips left a trail of kisses along my collarbone. I sat up momentarily, discarding my jacket. The moment I lied back down, his mouth was on my skin again, kissing down my arm, kissing the inside of my wrist.

He paused.

"Raphael." I gasped, half out of confusion.

I looked down at him to see him frozen, his eyes stuck on something on my wrist. Oh. Oh no.

"Why are there lines on your wrist, Eveline?" His voice was flat, neutral.

Damn it.

I had never worried about anyone seeing them before. My body was covered in scars—the four little scars on the inside of my wrist surely shouldn't stand out. And they were so light that they weren't even visible unless you were inches from my wrist.

"Raphael—" I began.

His eyes looked up at mine. They were blank, as if he were afraid to assume anything.

"Are you... suicidal?" He asked, his voice shaking.

My eyes widened. That's why he was so shocked. "No. I never... no. I didn't give myself those. They're from... I don't know what, exactly. I was barely four when I got them, at least that's what Warner told me. I know they're not from sparring, at least. A Downworlder gave them to me."

His eyes darkened. "What makes you think a Downworlder gave those to you?"

I silently scolded myself. If I hadn't been so stupid, he never would have seen my scars. We wouldn't even be talking right now.

"I've seen enough werewolf attacks to know that one of them gave me this." I answered, nodding to my wrist.

His eyes darkened, saddened. "Have you ever thought about it? Wanted it?"

It took me a second to know what he was asking. "No. Though I've heard everyone hits rock bottom eventually. I imagine my day should be soon."

And then he buried his head in my neck, kissing my shoulder softly. His lips brushed over my ear and he whispered, "If you ever feel like that Ev... tell me first."

Hearing him call me by the name I preferred made shivers run down my spine. "Just kiss me."

And he did. Softly, slowly. It was intoxicating, feeling his mouth on my skin. Having a vampire suck your blood was supposed to put you on Cloud Nine. So if that's what it felt like to just kiss Raphael...

I shut my thoughts off. I wasn't an Elite. He wasn't a vampire. Not right now. We were just two teenagers, playing with fire and enjoying the burn.

I ran my hands down his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath. My fingers stopped at the hem of his shirt. He pulled back, looking down at me, but before I could think I had pushed him too far, he shrugged his shirt over his shoulders, throwing it somewhere on the floor. He leaned down to kiss me again, and I leaned in to meet him halfway before I could process what I saw.

But then it clicked. I pushed him away, looking down at his chest. There was a gash that ran across the length of his chest, from his right shoulder to his left hip. Long, thin, and black, as if it had been painted on.

I tried not to laugh. "What's that?"

He looked down at his chest. "I told you we all have scars in some way or another. This in mine."

That was a scar? It made mine look like child's play. "Why's it, um, black?"

"A fairy gave it to me thirteen years ago. It's supposed to be a reminder." He said solemnly, lying down next to me.

I turned on my side, putting my hand on my chin. "A reminder of what?"

"Of the people I failed to save." I wanted to ask further, but it was clear from his tone that it wasn't a topic he liked to discuss, so I didn't push further.

"So why is it black?" I repeated, still curious.

He shrugged. "It only looks like that at random times. I've tried to figure out the pattern of it changing from a normal scar to this, but there is no pattern."

"Does it hurt?" I wondered.

He smiled at me, reaching for my hand and kissing the inside of my wrist. "Only as much as yours do."

...

It was strange, falling asleep in his arms. The only one who had ever held me in my sleep before was Kai. I used to think of it as something only for him. But it felt right to be held by Raphael. It was the best sleep I had had in a long time.