DESTITUTE || HS ✔️

five

The memories still did horrify me at night. There were certain places that would remind me of them, and those days when I passed the place, it would constantly bring tears. But, I had to accept the fact that there were things in your life that won't go the way I wanted it to. Acceptance is the key, and it still took me time to understand the truth behind everything and why it had happened.

Harry and I were getting exceptionally better while terribly worse. We were, and then we weren't. Sometimes people fall asleep in love and wake up empty. Sometimes people fall asleep and don't wake up at all. It hurts until it doesn't; and you don't always feel it at first, but when you feel it, oh God do you feel it.

I didn't know the reason of why my feelings and sadness was getting worse. Harry could tell it because I would not talk much during our late night conversations, nor would he. It would mostly consist of us sipping our orange or cranberry juice, just staring at the small clock that hangs near the kitchen window. His mind was getting worse, and I had questioned myself if he had secretly been buying the bottles of poison with his paychecks from the library due to the small amount he would bring back home.

We would still continue to sleep together in my room, sometimes his, but I would now be the one spooning him as the usuality. And Harry would wait for me to sleep this time, not me to wait for him. It was strange on his actions, but I could not come to the conclusion that it was the alcohol, if there was any involved completely. If I asked him, Harry would know that I had been thinking of the situation and he would obviously get slightly mad, if not more.

He would continue to ask about Mr. Malik, telling me the usual of him beating his ass if he came near me and touched me. But, he did not know the things that happened at work, thankfully. Harry would have definitely beat his ass if he even saw Mr. Malik in a very short distance from me. The things he would do had gotten worse, to the point of where he would grip my waist in public and touch my ass. I was not to the point of slapping him nor telling anybody because I was still so damn afraid.

But, everything had changed after Harry and I went clubbing one night. One night when the truth had came out. This night was months after Harry and I came out with the bottles of poison empty, and we both had come to the conclusion of getting better.

"Harry," I mutter, a lazy smile making its way across my face as I took in his appearance.

This time, a crisp, black button up is wrapped around his torso with the speciality of a few of the buttons undone to show off his tattooed chest. All night, my eyes have been so wide because I did not know of all the small tattoos in the area, even though I have seen all of his manliness many of times. Tight black skinny jeans are wrapped around his legs once again, but without any holes ripped into them. I did not notice how long his hair has grown until tonight, realizing the curly strands were down to his shoulders, and were not held up by the gel. The weight is weighing his hair down, and I wonder when he will decide to cut it.

We have barely had one drink, a small shot. It's crazy on how we are managing our drinking, but very good for us. Our physical bodies have been in this club for three hours, and it is almost hitting the midnight mark. My mind, well, it's been cast on Harry for the past day, and I have been trying to weave him out of it. His image has been bothering work, and that is not very good since my boss already has been having some things in mind.

Our eyes have been cast on the dancing bodies on the floor ever since we came here, and I've been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with us. We both came here to slightly have some fun while get our brains off of the tough day at work, which we seem to have every day, but nothing has happened.

"Another shot, please," I mutter to the bartender, who is not greasy Dan this time, and fully turn around in my bar chair to face the drinks. Harry's stare is felt burning into the back of my head, and I know he is thinking of what the hell I am doing, but if nothing is going to happen, cheers to the night of loneliness, once again.