Why do I want you?
Your toxic to me
Your the poision in my blood
The knife in my heart
The promise ill never have
Yet inspite of these things I crave you
I yearn for the days I heard you voice
The days I held you
The looking in your eyes, where they could warm my soul yet in a instant could chill me to my core
You are no better or any worst than the last
Like them you are my everything
Like them I would die for you
Like them I have shed tears for you
And like them I have bleed for you
For the emotions within me pushed me to release
My skin has healed and faded
I wish with my all you all could fade like the scars that beared my soul
I look at my scars and can still feel the emoions behind each
They all tell a story that no one can see
I open my eyes wide
I no longer try to hide
Yet my cry for help is unseen
So what do I d now?
I feel broken beyond repair
I was never one to believe I was worth much
I understand why none of them could truely love me
Love can only be give to those who love
Yet I loved, atleast I thought I did
I wore my heart on my sleeve
I wore is so unshielded that it is now dirty
My heart is so many things...
It is decayed
It is destroyed
It is cold
It beats no more to those it used to beat 2 times as hard for
My heart is so much more, yet I know for sure it is hardened and unwhole
You were the last to chip away my already fragile heart
When you left I crumbled to the floor
I tried to rise but fell back to the ground
My vision is blurred with tears of agony
I never thought love could cause physical pain, now I know I was wrong
My body sears with a burning pain
Am I in a living hell?
Why is everything feel so hazy?
Should I surrended?
I feel myself drifting away and feel no fight left with in me
I find some strenght to crawl to my bed
Reaching under I pull out some pills
I open the bottle and thinking this is the right thing
This will take away my pain
Downing the pills I wait for them to take effect
After 30 more minutes of unimaginable tortue the pills take over
Rolling into a ball I hold my knees to me and rock
Feeling dazed I know my blissful release is finally here
My thoughs drift back to you and the ones before you
You got your wish I will be no more
I am none existant
I do not know why you where the one to destroy the rest of me
You where not my worst
You finished what they all started so long ago
I wonder why
Why it was you an no other?
Why I feel no more?
Why my the room is fading?
Why you never loved me?
Why did I ever love you?
And lastly will you even miss me?
My final thoughts are these and all goes black
At last I am at peace
I still wonder even here
Why?
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Okay so I started this in middle school during a really bad depression and found it and decided to finish it.I figure any kindof writing is good because as long as emotions are there its always a form of art. Anyways let me know what you think of it, and if you read it and don't like it I still want that feed back too.
