Safe in the Arms of Death [Complete]

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After searching for my things, I found them laundered, packed away in my bag. I don't know when he found time to wash my clothes, but I'm grateful he did. I've been moving around paranoid for the last four months and am down to nickels and dimes. I travel back to the head of the house when I hear a steady thunking followed by the sound of something being ripped apart. I cautiously tread toward the sound peeking out the window. I feel like a spy who'll be caught at any minute. Thanatos is splitting logs with such force it makes me think I've done something wrong. After storming from the cabin I thought better to bridle my mouth before I found myself out in the cold, sooner rather than later.

His face flushed with exertion as I watched him puff clouds of hot air through his flared nostrils. Letting the curtains fall back into place, I spin around taking in the expanse of this cedar log house. It was the stuff dreams are made of: cozy, romantic, warm, a family home. I don't know if there will ever be another opportunity to have the gift of housing another baby in my womb. Not after what happened two months ago. I can't go through that again. I let grief overtake me if only for a while. There hasn't been a proper time to mourn. I just want a clean slate. I don't want to run anymore, I'm tired of it, surviving, living in fear. There has to be a better way.

~~~

Splitting logs isn't an easy task but I love working with wood in its many forms. Truthfully, I'm working out the frustration that's building a home in my gut and clouding my thoughts. I know exactly what this means and it's shaken my belief that love was lost on me. That's why I moved to Columbia Falls, in this secluded area shutting myself off from most of humanity. I heavily interact with people nine months out of the year. I can build anything from wood; that's what service I provide to those looking for custom pieces for their homes. Business is good. I make enough to sustain me until spring.

I was living comfortably until Mika collapsed on my property. I wasn't in conflict with what my body wanted or needed. I am its master, but it's beginning to rebel and these logs are paying the price. It's time to head back into the warmth of my shelter. My back and shoulders are starting to seize up on me. Trudging back to the cabin, I tap excess snow from my boots and enter. It's quiet, too quiet for a woman residing here. I scan around spotting fresh wood in the fireplace. I meant to feed the flames before I walked out earlier.

I begin walking to the rear of my home finding Mika standing in a pool of her hair. Her gray eyes stare back at me with surprise. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"I want a fresh start, so I'm cutting my hair off." I shrug. It's only hair, it'll grow back.

"I can see that. You have no idea what you're doing do you?"

"Is it that obvious?" I ask cheekily.

"Here, let me help." I take the shears from her fingers, quietly shaping what hair she had left.

"You're skilled at this."

"Had to be, in Special Forces."

"No wonder..."

"What's that mean?"

"I knew something about you was familiar to me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. It's in the way you move, the way you walk, carry yourself."

"You know someone in the military?"

"No, but my ex-husband is a Private Investigator. He moves like you do. He's more mechanical, menacing."

"He the one you're running from?"

"Unfortunately."

"If you don't mind sharing, what happened?"

"Jett isn't someone you cross, at any time, but I didn't figure that out until it was too late."

"All done. Follow me."

"What about the mess?"

"I'll get to it later. Let's have a seat. Tell me more about is Jett character."

"In short, he threatened to kill me."

"Why?"

"Because I divorced him. He made me look incompetent like I should be locked away. He's the one out of his mind. The police department, even his attorney believes he's an angel. All I asked for was my clothes and the car in the settlement. He actually sat across from me crying tears. That's when I knew I was in trouble."

"I see, so, you married a psycho."

"And a rapist. He broke into my house one night and took advantage of me."

"He ought to be castrated." I can't stomach predators who target women or children. That's how I lost my wife and five-year-old daughter.

"I was pregnant as a result up until two months ago."

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."

"I haven't had time to mourn. I would have had a son if he hadn't turned out stillborn. I can't help feeling guilty. I know it's my fault. I was under so much stress trying to take care of the both of us. I wasn't eating or sleeping as much as I should and I-"

"Stop. Don't saddle yourself with such a burden. It didn't have to be you who did anything wrong. You were doing everything right trying to protect yourself and your baby."

"You don't understand what it's like to lose a child."

"That's where you're wrong Mika. Both my wife and daughter were murdered five years ago while I was on recon. I wasn't informed about it for fear of compromising the mission I was head of. Imagine coming home to an empty house with pictures, dolls, and the last outfit your spouse wore the day before he died. It was neatly folded, resting in a wicker chair in our bedroom in the corner. So, I know a thing or two about loss, grief and blaming myself for their deaths."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I prejudged you. I was wrong. I'll never understand how someone can be so callous with taking a life."

"Yeah." We sat in silence, I'm sure, reflecting on our losses. But there was no denying, I wanted to get my hands around the neck of this Jett psychopath. No matter how it's cut, violence against women is inexcusable.

"You're ex-Special Forces, right? That means you don't have to go back?"

"Never ex, just inactive."

"I see."

"Stand up."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

*What a horrible way to lose a wife and child! I felt bad for writing Mika's baby's death. I'm sure that's difficult for any mother to process.