Sobbing happy smiles

Nothing nevermind.

I sent her something on accident.
She answered saying please tell me you aren't leaving .
Me leaving ?
Why would she ask that ?
She's the one that threw me out the room and closed the door leaving me utterly alone .
It still hurts seeing her .
She doesn't even seem to meet my gaze.
I'm invisible ... To her.
I'm going back to being silent ?
Right?
Faking a smile .
I never wanted it to end but nothing can ever stay gold right ?
I'm still confused on why she left .
Picking up her stuff and leaving me alone.
We had plans.
June 21 recreation of May 11.
Is it still going to happen ?
Doing something over summer break.
Getting closer .
The two of us against the world .
Go shopping together .
Get matching stuff.
Spending Halloween together .
Have a matching scheme.
What happened ?
The thing that hurts the most is seeing our picture the one of us that's on my dresser .
The one of that day .
The videos and pictures on my phone I can't seem to find myself delete .
One of the most happiest days in my life .
What did I do wrong ?
When did I mess up ?
We had it good .
You helped me fix the macaroni and cheese , the late nights conversations , listening to the neighbourhood at three in the morning , being at your place .
I found the chocker you let me wear for that day .
Do I give it back to you ?
It reminds me of her.
I would love to tell her about him .
How we've gotten closer .
How he's made me feel .
But I can't tell you because you're not there .
You were never here with me .
Someone left on Sunday .
They are dying .
I keep getting that dream .
Maybe she'll read this ?
Probably not .
She doesn't even care ... Does she ?
But if she does,
Why?

I've been getting closer with this girl , she's awesome and has the best style in music . She cares and makes me happy ... She knows about my life . I finally don't feel alone . She's really pretty and is like me . She and I fit together nicely . We recently stayed up till three and listened to the neighbourhood . I love that she makes me feel at home .

That is what I wrote about her after a call .
Funny how things change.
Thanks for tearing me .
She'll never come back .
She hates me .
I wished she'd come
back .