Metamorphosis

Chapter 17

I snapped out of sleep sometime after three the next morning. Something had woken me, but as I lay there, listening, I heard nothing other than the soft pitter-patter of rainfall. After a few minutes of this passed, I rolled onto my side and took a quick glance at the empty spot beside me. The sheets were cold beneath my fingertips. Eren hadn't come home last night, and even when I had prepared myself for that to happen, that didn't make it hurt any less. If anything, it hurt more. I'd been foolish to think that he would come back here at all. He was probably crashing at Connie's house after a round or two at the warehouse, just like in the old days. But I couldn't even blame him for that. I should've taken matters into my own hands and gone back to the club to talk things out. Now it was too little, too late.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anytime soon. There were too many thoughts running through my mind at once. Thoughts that demanded my attention. I didn't want Eren to break things off between us because he thought that he wasn't good enough for me when he was. He was everything I could ask for and more. If only he could see that for himself. If only there was a way for me to show him, but I knew that even then, he wouldn't believe it. There were certain things in his past that he had to come to terms with before that could happen. Until then, he would think of himself as someone that didn't deserve a damn thing.

Feeling miserable, I curled up into a fetal position and squeezed my eyes closed. The rain outside went on, undisturbed. The soft hum of the refrigerator downstairs droned on, constant and loud in spite of the rain. Everything kept going as it should, but I felt like I was stuck in one endless moment that refused to give way to the next. I tried to remember if I'd been like this after I broke up with Farlan all those years ago, but all I could remember was feeling relieved—upset, but relieved nonetheless.

You're getting ahead of yourself, Levi. He hasn't broken up with you yet.

I was seconds away from going downstairs to watch TV when I heard my phone go off. I was out of bed faster than should've been possible, almost flying down the stairs in my hurry. I nearly tripped near the bottom, but that did nothing to stop me from lunging at the entry table the moment it was in my line of sight. I scooped up my cell phone, and didn't even bother checking who it was before I pressed it to my ear and said, "Hello?"

"Levi, shit, why haven't you been answering your phone?" It was Armin, sounding winded and anxious.

"What's wrong?"

"There was an incident at the club. A guy who had been banned months ago somehow got in tonight. He—Fuck! He was after me. He has a thing for me, and I didn't even see him, so when he came at me, I screamed. Eren just reacted after that. He just..."

My blood went frigid in my veins. "Armin, what happened to him?"

Through sobs, he said, "He was stabbed."

There are moments in your life where time seems to come to a complete stop. This was one of them for me. I stood there in the entryway of Eren's apartment clutching my phone so tight, I thought I would break it. Everything felt incredibly far away and unreal. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. Because nothing would stick. The only thing that stuck was a picture of Eren smiling his real smile, the one that showed off a dimple in his left cheek. The one that I loved so much that I couldn't help but return it every time it made an appearance on his face.

This couldn't be happening. It couldn't.

"There has to be a mistake," I heard myself saying. When I think back on this moment, I won't remember uttering the words.

"Levi," Armin said, sounding cautious now. "I'm going to have Jean come and get you. Are you at your apartment?"

"I'll come. I'll drive. Just tell me which hospital he's in."