A Thousand Kisses [HOLD]

A Thousand Kisses ⁞『 HEART-BREAK 』

| ♡ HEART-BREAK

            By coincidence, the sweetest person I knew was the one to discover me in my pitiful state.

            I had known Mariko and Erika about the same amount of time. The difference was that at first, I didn’t exactly get along with Mariko. Erika and I though … we never had trouble. We were drawn to each other immediately, I guess because Erika was just so humble and kind, she didn’t think much of showing affection through physical contact.

            Ok, stop any thoughts you’re about to have. It’s not what it seems.

            When I say physically, I mean … she’s the type of girl that would give you a hug for free, every hour, actually scratch that, every minute. When I ask her why she’d bother, she said she couldn’t help it; that she had such an excessive amount of passion, and tenderness inside her, that if she didn’t find a way to relieve it, she would explode.

            I never complained when she was kind to me, I welcomed it. Mariko on the other hand, shyed away, she wasn’t used to any sort of affection. I’ve spent the night over her house a number of times, and it’s completely different there. At dinner, her parent’s barely spoke. I felt tense, worried. But it seemed to be the normal routine under her roof.

            Mariko’s parents were strict. They always seemed to be talking about worrisome things. Like studying, and grades, and university; it wouldn’t be hard to believe that Mariko really didn’t have a chance to be a kid. Or at least … she wouldn’t have had the chance. But with me and Erika by her side, she sure wasn’t left out!

            And eventually Mariko lightened up, she had always been pretty uptight about everything, and she never seemed to smile. She was always low in self-esteem as well, always saying that she was ugly. When really … when she smiled, she was probably the prettiest girl I knew. Ah, besides our sweet little Erika of course.

            I loved Mariko, even if she sometimes got on my nerves. But in that situation, probably the worst I’ve ever been put in, I was grateful for Erika to be the one; the moment my mind connected the low, jingling, voice to my adorable friend, I felt this heightening swell of emotion inside me.

            I still hadn’t moved from my place, kneeling down beside the classroom door that Satomi had stepped out of earlier. I had my head bent, my long, bay, hair slipping in front of my features. Something I was grateful for, with my face covered, you could hardly see the fat, salty, tears run down my face.

            I hated crying, and it was like a nightmare, bawling my eyes out in the middle of a hallway in high school of all other places. But … I couldn’t help it. I just felt so horrible. How could my mood have dropped so quickly? So rapidly? Only a few short hours ago I was swelling with excitement, a rush comparable to a sugar drive splurging me on. I wrote, letter after letter, trying to find the right words. Struggling to transfer my heated emotions into legible text, I didn’t want it to be too mushy or embarrassing either, but somehow … it still turned out that way. And I thought it was okay, because that was what love letters were all about.

            But he hadn’t even taken the trouble of opening it.

“Sara-Chii? Is that you?”

            Something was stuck in my throat; I paused, struggled in silence, before I swallowed air, and then sniffled. I knew it was her, but somehow, I couldn’t face her yet. I guess I just didn’t want to face anyone. It wasn’t the first time I cried, I was aware of how hideous I looked. My eyes turned red and swelled, as well as my lips for some odd reason. And then I looked like some blind, mushy-faced person. I could hardly stand looking at myself in the mirror, even at home, in the privacy of my bedroom.