coming home [A Young Justice Fanfic]

Chapter 1 - Back

I'm a dick. Yes I know that's a pun but I don't mean it that way and heck I still can't shake my happy side even when I'm trying to self deprecate. I'm a fucking dick.

He died. Because of me. Don't even go there and try to say it's nobody's fault because it was all our faults and that includes me.

I need to shut up.

I need to stop blaming myself.

I'm sorry.

"Bruce..." I roll my eyes as my phone dings and I roll over in bed for extra impact. I eventually get up two seconds later and grab my phone off the bedside table. I prop myself up and enter my passcode to see a text from... Artemis?

Shit.

Somethings wrong. She wouldn't have texted me otherwise.

That's my first thought. Of course then there's always the voice in the back of my head saying she wants to talk about Bart and Jaime being voted prom couple this weekend or how she heard Connor is having fun back of the farm with Martha, finally.  Yes I keep tabs on all of them. I tend to hope she does too...

But I open the text and I just see

"Hi..."

I type back

"Hi, are you okay?"

Because now I know somethings definitely wrong.

Or maybe, maybe she just wants to talk and I'm not overthinking things and hoping too much and I'm not going to crash and fall. Maybe she does want to talk to me and get me out of this pit I've dug for myself since Wally died. 

"I need to tell you something, Dick."

I'm startled, remembering she knows my name. Then I want to hit myself for forgetting she was more than just a teammate even for a second.  She was a friend too...

"Yeah? What?"

We're both conveniently ignoring the fact that we haven't talked for months. That the last time we acknowledged each other's existence was with a brief nod and then walking in the opposite direction.

"Yeah? What? Cause I really need to know if you want to talk to me or if I'm right to keep imagining these horrible situations that could have caused you to finally want to talk."

Bruce always said I was pretty obvious with my emotions but I think I'm pretty good at hiding things.

The phone's harsh light shows there's still no reply.  I'm cold. I pull up the blanket a little more, because fuck, Gotham is freaking freezing at night.

I need to stop cursing. I'm sounding more like Jason every day.

That's terrifying.

"Um, okay so this is really gonna sound weird but... Um... Agh I want to send you something to warn you, so um, I guess get ready for some really crazy news."

She doesn't sound scared. Maybe... Maybe it's good news... Please be good news...

"You ready?"

"Yeah, is it good news?"

"Yes."

She wants to talk again. She misses me. She's planning to get the team back together. Something. Anything.

"Wally's alive and he came back and he was trapped in the speedforce, that thing Barry told us about, and we found him passed out on our porch last week. He wants to see everybody again. He misses you especially. He's watching me type right now."

For all the time I read, I'm thinking, that this is a fucking sick joke Artemis is pulling but why the hell could Artemis pull a joke like that. She loved him too. It must be a hacker. Because I haven't let myself hope he could be alive at all because then, I could really crash and fall. Then when I fall, I'll be falling a lot further from "Artemis wants to talk to me again."

But she said he's right there. And I know he is. I can feel him. Bruce says trust your intuition and I know this is the exact wrong way for me to understand that. But then again I never wanted to understand what Bruce said the way he intended me to.

"What?"

I autotype so quick I forget that maybe she doesn't know what to say. Maybe she's as flustered as I am but- Fuck! He's been there for a week! Oh my god, I need him.

This is what I was hoping wouldn't happen.

"I mean, can- can I video message you now please?"

"Um let me check with him first. He hasn't seen you in a long time. "

Exactly.

"Are you sure you want to? Over video message?"

Yesyesyesyesyes.

I'm scared, Artemis. You don't know how scared I am. I need to see him so I know I won't fall. I need to know I'm not being tricked.

"Yes, please."

A tear smudges the keyboard as I type and I grab my blanket to wipe it off.
My phone starts ringing after I put my blanket to the side and am scrunched up against the bed frame and I realize I'm not wearing a shirt. Now's the time where I wish I had super speed.

I get up and jump across the carpet to my drawer, yank out the first shirt I see, and slam back down on my bed.  I pick up my phone and press the green "pick up" button. The screen is all pixelly for a second but I can make out two ovals, one with blondish long hair and one- one has a tinge of red surrounding the top part of the oval and bam the pixels are gone. Artemis is sitting next to Wally West who is crouched near her shoulder like a bat, and even though it's 10 pm you can tell they have at least two lights on because you can see really clearly Fuck Wally Is Right There.

"Hi..."

I can't see very well any more. My eyes are filled with tears and when Wally opens his mouth to speak all the feelings come rushing back and I burst out bawling because I can because I know he's back and I'm not going to fall.

"Dick! Are you okay?"

"No! I mean, yes! I mean... I missed you a lot..." I'm wiping away the tears so I can see them better. Artemis looks worried as hell, and Wally's looking at me, eyes wide, like he can't believe the clusterfuck that I've turned into in the the past year. For a second I can't either.

"I missed you a lot, Wally."

"Yeah... I can tell... I missed you too."

His voice is so alive. Like he's feeling every emotion in the world and he can't seem to express them and god, I guess that's me too right now.

"Can... Can, I come over there? I can't stand this..." I mutter quietly and I'm afraid he'll say no, because who the heck is gonna say yes when it's 10 pm and we're in Gotham for god's sake.

He looks at Artemis, like he's asking for permission. She nods.

" Yeah of course."

He's quiet.

"I can't stand this either."

I get up really fast. Looking down  at my shirt I realize I put on short sleeves.

"Okay, one second I need to change. I'll be over there in fifteen minutes, kay?"

"Yeah. That's- that's great."

I look at them again and then press the hang up button. I won't fail you. Not again. I'll get there in five minutes.