Previously From Chapter 29:
"Kid" "Leave Jay" i say calmly. "Eve" "GET THE FUCK OUT' I say to him with the same stone gaze he gave me when he turned his back and left. I didnt cry when i watched his back turn. I didnt cry when I heard the door close. I was done crying over Jaydon, I was done shedding a tear over him. Im living for me now. From now on Im standing on my own starting with getting another number and getting my own place to live. Its tme I get my voice back and stand up for myself cause in the end you all you got. I deserve love and I deserve a man who wll give me his all, and until I meet him Ill settle for loving myself.
Chapter 30: Talk To Me
Jaydon's POV:
"Daddy, when we go to get Uncle KK, is he going to be dead" Nila said to me from the backseat as I drove us to the hospital. "Naw, baby girl Uncle K is alive, remember when I talked you about his leg, he might not be able to play basketball with you for a while" I say reminding her about the talk I had with her about Kaydon, I didn't want her to be confused or afraid if she saw him in the wheel chair. I stop at a red light and look at her from my rearview and she shrugs her shoulders and goes back to playing with her Dora, she only six so she wont understand all the shit that Kaydon going through. He not dead but they might as well killed him, its been a month since the shooting and my baby brother not the same no more, its like when they took his legs they took apart of him and because of that, they took a part of me too. Kaydon didn't deserve this shit, I go to the hospital all day but because of all the surgeries they have him doped up so he's never awake when I come, but I stay with him all night, protecting him like I should have that day he got shot. All this shit on my plate is killing me, eating me alive, the streets can do that to any nigga, kill him slowly, That's why I just wanted to get my mind off this shit not think about it, that's why I went to the club. They say the measure of a man is when he is able to admit to his mistakes, so I'm not going to waste yall time with lying about the shit. I knew what I did was wrong, I didn't think, hell I wasn't thinking. I'm not going to lie and say that girl push up on me and its was a mistake and Kid saw something and jumped to conclusions. Truth is I danced with her, probably would have fucked her if she let me. I just didn't bet on Kid being there or seeing her pretty face look at me with disappointment. I never wanted to hurt her, I'll kill for her in a second, but is seems that, that's all I do,,, make her cry and she don't deserve that shit. I'm going to give her, her space cause I know she needs it, but I'm not ready to let her ass go and you and me both know her ass aint going nowhere....that's shit set in stone. She just got to be patient with me.
I pull up to the hospital, dreading this day cause it finally came. I get out my truck taking solemn steps to the back and unbuckling Anila. "Nila let daddy talk to you" I say bending down to her level. "Uncle K got hurt bad, You daddy solider right" I ask and she nods her head slowly unsure of what I'm about to to say. "I don't want you to treat him different aite, he the same person alright. I need you understand" I say hopping I get her to understand that when she sees him he wont be the same person she knew before he got shot. "Come on" I say grabbing her small hand as I walk her to the parking lot elevators. I take a deep breath as I push the button to the seventh floor. On the way up I think about Kid, having her here would have made this shit easier, but I fucked that up I say as the doors open and the rush of the nursing staff move in a fast speed past the reception desk. I pick up Anila so she does get lost in the chaos and walk to the Kaydon's room.
I open the cracked door and see standing by Kaydon as a doctor talked to him. "Uncle KK" Nila say jumping down from my arms and running to Kaydon, bumping into the doctor as she did. "A little eager, isn't she" he said as he turned around and I got a look at his face "Hello Im Dr. Shamere James" he said introducing himself...this nigga I say to myself as I ignore the hand he reached out for me to shake. Sorry my nigga I don't fuck with grimy niggas I say to myself. "You must be the father" he say pulling his hand back, and looking at me and recognizing who I am. "Yea" I say because to me that's what I've always been." I cant tell you want a tremendous pleasure it has been having Kaydon here, I have to tell you have a wonderful son he has been a trooper through this gruesome process" he says and my heart fills with pride, Kay always been a fighter, he a Williams that shit in our blood. "I have to tell you about the outpatient rehab, although the chances of his paralysis is undecided, the nerves around his spinal chord are damaged and Kaydon falls under a diagnoses that we cant treat scientifically , we have some cases where we were able to stimulate the damaged nerve cells and some cases where the patient never gained the ability to walk...we have to look at cases like these with a optimistic outlook" he says. "Sorry Doc but this shit you telling me not going to help him walk, don't sell us hope cause he cant do nothing with it" "Jay" Tonya says stepping in. "Stay out of here Yo, we want the truth not this rehab shit, that's the shit yall say to get people money, don't waste his time, I want to know will he walk again" I say cutting this bullshit he feeding us. "In my medical opinion, the chances of that happening are slim to none" he says regrettably. As soon as those words came out of his mouth I looked over at Kaydon, who was sitting on the side of the bed taking everything in and remaining silent as Nila grabbed his hand and he looked at her with empty expression. "Im sorry about this, Im being paged" he said walking out the room. I don't know why but I don't trust that nigga, and I want him far away from Kid as possible, something aint right about that nigga I say as two nurse come in and pick Kaydon up and put him in a wheel chair they rolled in behind them.
"Okay Mr. Williams all we need you to do is sign these release papers and you will be good to" one cheerful nurse said handing a brown clipboard to Kaydon as he unlocked the wheels and rolled out of the room not saying anything. "Ill sign them" I said grabbing the paper and entailing and signing my signature when needed. "Come on baby girl" I say grabbing Anila and picking her up again. "Jay, what you did was uncalled for" "Yo you want me to lie to him, I cant cause y'all don't have see him disappointed basketball is his life I can't sell him that shit and watch him...I'm lying to him" I say walking away from her. They say the truth hurts and in kaydon's case it's going to hurt him worse I can't watch him break his neck trying to walk again and the truth it won't, he'll die in that chair, that shit kills me cause it because of me, Swippa did this shit to Kay cause he couldn't come close to taking me out.
we still haven't found his ass, that nigga on flight but I guess if I was in his shoes I would run too cause ima make him pay for this, death too easy for that nigga, I say as I get on the elevator and press the ground floor button, pushing memories of me and Eve on this elevator when we first linked back up. "Daddy will uncle k be alright" Nila said to me as I put her in the her carseat. "I don't know" I say honestly as I looked at kaydon , I don't know how he managed to pull himself in the truck but I say nothing as I lock Nila back in and shut the door and drive pushing away the thoughts and ignore the pain I feel.
We pull up to the the house and I get put unbuckling Nila as I look over and see kaydon struggling to get his chair out the door. I sat Nila on the ground and walk over to his side and grab his seat and place it on the ground for him. "I got it Jay " he says moving my hand out the way when I try to help him out the truck. Kay just like me he got too much pride in him to accept when somebody helping him.
I step back and watch him as he tries to get out the truck, grabbing his legs one at a time and using all his strength to get to edge of the seat. I keep my distance cause I can't cushion this for him he has to learn that no body owes you anything, that's why I pushed him to stay in school and go all the way to college cause ain't nobody giving him shit in life so I stand back and watch him continue to struggle getting into his chair. I stand back watching as he pushes his hips and land on the ground, as his face lands in the dirt. I walk to him picking him up. "Nila" I say telling her to follow me And I walk with Kay up the porch steps and into the house. "I want to die Jay " he says as angry tears fall from his face and the guilty feeling grows in the bottom of my stomach, I can only blame myself for this shit. I say nothing as I continue walking him up the stairs going step by step to his room and laying him in his bed. He got a long road ahead of him but we will get through this shit.
I close his door and walk outside walking to the truck and locking it up and folding Kay's car and bringing it outside. I walk back up to the house ignoring Mrs. Robinson waving as I opened the door and go in the house. I look at Anila as I slip out my Js leaving them at the door. " Let's go to sleep Nila" I say picking her up and throwing her on my back, trying to take her mind off the hard shit she got in her life. Listening to her soft giggles makes the guilty feeling in my gut go away but it sinks back in when I look at kaydons closed bedroom door and the fact that I pushed away the one person I loved got me fucked up too cause I know Eve hates me now cause I fucked up too many times.
I pull my phone off dialing her number unable to handle the distance. " We're sorry the number you reached is no longer in service" the operator says. Damn I know I fucked up but she didn't have to change her number on a nigga. I. Can't blame her for being mad, but missing her is something new to me, I never gave a fuck about any females feelings but with Kid it's different...it's feel different. Ima fix, make it up to her I ain't gone lie I miss her ass her kiss her touch. I can still smell her lavender scent on the pillow case as I lay down and Nila climbs on my chest laying on me as I rub her back so she can sleep and she plays with the tip of my dreads. I hear her soft snores as sleeps catches ahold of me....
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My phone ringing wakes me from my sleep as rise from the bed in my sleepy haze. "Yea" I say when I slide my phone answering. "I'm coming to pick up Nila" lala says yelling into the phone. "Yea" I say hanging up on her cause I know she saw me with that girl that night and knowing her mouth she got a mouthful for me and right know I don't want to hear her mouth save that shit for Bonez ass cause I know I fucked up and the only person I need to explain myself to is Kid. I look around my room patting the bed beside for Nila, I get up going to her room to get her stuff ready, opening her bedroom door and finding her toys scattered around the floor I know she not far I think to myself as I walk down stairs.
" Are you a good police or bad police, my daddy said not to trust you" I hear Nila say when I reached the bottom step and she her talking to someone outside. "No I'm a good guy, your daddy's right you shouldn't talk to strangers, is there a grown up her I can speak to?" A deep male voice says to her as I go to behind the couch and getting my nine, I'm always prepared for anything I say as I take it off safety and bring it to my side and wall to the door behind Nila. "Nila what I tell your ass about answering the door" I say "Sorry daddy" she says as I push her behind and I keep my burner close to side as I turn and look at this nigga. "Sorry about that, I saw her playing in the yard, I'm Capt. Noah Walters from the Chicago Police Depart." He says reaching his arm out I look at it as I ignore shaking his hand. I remember him when I questioned at the police station he the nigga that pulled the detective off me. "What you doing here" I say cause I can't handle anymore shit in my plate as is. "Is Mary Williams here" he says asking about Mama Red" "No" I say to him. "Do you know a time when she will be back" Naw" "Do you know where she is" he says. "Morgan Cemetery" I say. "Been there for ten years" . "Is Solana Williams here" he says and my interest peeks, I haven't heard that name since I three years old, what does he want with her, "She died too" I say as he looks at me with strange expression. " Are you a relative " " Yea I'm her son" I say and he looks at me with a shocked expression, opening his mouth and closing it almost like he had something to say but thought about it and remained silent. "Have a nice day, sorry for the trouble" he says turning and walking down the porch steps as I watch him from the door he waits a minute before he starts his car and drives away.
I don't know why this nigga asking questions about Mama Red and Solana, today was the first time I heard about her and this shit brings up memories from the past. I push those thoughts to the back of my mind remembering that the FEDs got us on watch and they will make up any excuse to get in your house I think as I close the door looking down at Nila who looks up at me with a sad eyes " Don't start that, go upstairs" I say trying not yell but she know the rules she knows not to answer the door for nobody she lucky I don't whoop her ass for that shit. She walks past me with sad steps and walks up the steps slowly. I'm not falling for it I say as I walk back up stairs with my gun still in my hands.
I open my door laying face down in the bed, when u hear footsteps in my bathroom. I open my eyes and take my gun from the floor laying on my back and staying alert , ready to blow whoever this is. I hear the creak of the door as it opens slowly and a dark silhouette emerges from the bathroom. "Cesar" Asante says stepping back when she sees my gun. "What you doing here Sante" I say getting up and putting my gun on safety. "Just stopping by" she says walking on the other side of the bed by me as I'm putting my gun under the mattress. "I wanted to finish what we started" she says pressing her body close to my back. I move past her cause I really don't have time for this shit and her ass to comfortable I don't even know how her ass got in my house. "Sante I told you about this shit" I say pushing her off me. To be honest this shit ain't attractive, I mean she got a body any nigga would hit that's all he would do cause like I said I like the chase and right now she making the race too easy I hit and now I'm done. "You turning this down" she says opening the blue silk robe and displaying her body to me and my piece stands at attention but my head haults my movement when I notice Eden written on the robe. "Take it off" I say " oh I plan on it" she says letting it fall to the floor. "Look Sante I don't have time for this shit, put your shit on and leave" I say grabbing my arm from her grasp. "Is it cause of that bitch" she says disrespecting kid" " Leave" I say making my word final I already fucked up and I have to find a way to make it up to Kid I don't have anymore life lines and fucking with Asante would kill Kid, I ain't trying to hurt her anymore than I already have. "I bet if something happen to her then you'll think twice about saying no to me" she says threading kid. " Rethink that shit" I say warning her cause if anything happens to kid Ill body her, no hesitation no need to say anything more cause she know me.
"Jay" lala says storming in my room and looking at Sante's naked body and me. "Out" she says to Asante already thinking the worst. "Look" "Bitch stay in your place, I said get the fuck out before I put your out" Lala says to Sante. "Let me get my clothes" "Hell naw bitch now" lala says to her. "I'm not going to ask you again" she says moving away from the door and Sante walks out the door slowly watching Lala's every move.
"That shit wasn't called for" I say sitting on my bed. " Naw it's called put a bitch in her place maybe you learn how to so it" she says and I already know she has more than that to say to me. " I knew you would fuck this up" she says shaking her head. " la it wasn't what you thought" I say trying to explain myself. " then what was it Jay cause don't no bitch get naked for the hell of it" she says moving I front of me. "I though you were better than that Jay why do you niggas fuck with these birds and you got a woman at home, was she worth it Jay" she says yelling. "Look this ain't got shit to do with you" " Dont have shit to do with me, nigga I'm the one that has to see her. Mopping around the house cause your ass can't act right, you lucky you not my nigga cause I would handled you and that bitch" she said getting in my face. " Back the fuck up La" I say standing up. "That's what you need to tell these goes" she says. " Aite" I say "She not going to wait on you forever, I want let her" "Nobody asked her too" I say back. "Okay then she going to move past your ass" " she ain't doing that shit either" I say meaning it. " so she can't wait on you to get your shit together but she can't move on either, that shit don't make sense, you hanging with that bum bitch and guarantee she got something to do with these shit ask me why all this crazy shit stop happening when Eve moved out. Something ain't right then you snapping at everybody thinking Avery crossing you nigga you tripping ,cause we don't want shit you got Avery been down with your ass since day one." Lala says. "She's not Kiona she a good girl And for some reason she loves your ass don't see why cause you treat her like shit, but she does but don't bank on that lasting forever cause she going to realize she deserves better and she does cause she been through shit and she still going through it... Stop pushing her away" La says to me "Yea" is all I say that's all I can say La giving me a mouthful but she also speaking truth. I know I messed up its just hard hearing hard kid taking it, she always over think she probably blaming herself for my mistakes and its has nothing to her , I fucked not her.
"Yeah I gone" she says walking out the door. "Fix it Jay... With Eve and Avery cause if don't nobody else care...they do" she said closing the door behind her. I already know what I got to do I have to make this right with Kid first cause the last thing I want is for another nigga to come and pull her, and she a keeper any nigga would die to have her at his side and I need her by mine I say as I strip from my clothes and walk into the bathroom, stepping into the shower and letting the cool water soothe my thoughts as I splash water in my face but even that cant stop my thoughts of Kid racing through my mind.
I get out the shower throwing on some Nike shorts and a t-shirt and slip on my 10s as I walk down to Kay's room to make sure he straight before I leave. I know this shit got him depressed and I don't want to leave him alone if he feeling like that. "Kay" I say opening his door and seeing Kasha laying on her side with Kaydon's arm draped around her waist. "Kay" I say shaking him awake as he opens his eyes slowly and sees me. "Shit bae" he says lightly tapping her shoulder as she wakes up and see my face. "She gotta go" I say throwing her purse at her. "Jay" he said trying to question my command. Hell naw because of her he got to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, "She aint got shit to do with this Jay'" "Fuck you mean she aint got shit to do with this shit, because of her you cant walk, you think Swipe gave a fuck about leaving you alive, that nigga gave the command to shoot you on sight, I told you to leave this hoe alone" "She aint like that" Kay says defending her ass, being honest even though she just 14 Kasha ass been around the hood a couple times, niggas my age done fucked, he risking everything for her and she aint worth it. "I want her ass gone when I get back" I say slamming the door behind me.I run down the stairs in my fury filled state, seeing red as I slam the front door close and get into my truck, Im trying to protect his ass he fucking with the enemy and if Swippa her brother I already know where her loyalty lies, Kaydon cant let pussy cloud his judgment Kasha is a hoe that's what she is she seeing dollars signs because she think Kay will pull through this shit, I don't trust her ass. I say driving to clear my mind.
I pull up to the long drive way and see Bonez playing basketball with Nolan while Nila sat down on the grass on the side. I get out my car walking slowly to them. Me and Bonez bump heads but never like this, he my nigga I let my pride get in the way and that shit wasn't right. Bonez been more than loyal if its one person I can trust is this nigga I say walking up to them. "Look at me Nolan" he said when Nolan looks at his feet when he is on defense. "You got to look at your opponent in the eyes, feel his movements" Bonez said crossing over and making a dunk. "D up" he says to Nolan as they run past me. "Look up" he says to Nolan as Nolan blocks his shoot and runs down and make a lay up. The boy a natural at this basketball shit, once he grow up he might even break my records. " D up, nigga" Bonez said throwing the ball to me as I dribble it to him. We always did this shit anytime we had beef, we got thick heads and too much pride to say the other was in the wrong, we play to settle this shit the way men should...on the court.
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Three hours later we sit in the concrete parking lot trying to catch our breaths. "Man nigga, you getting old" Bonez said breathing heavy as I looked over at him, "Speak for yourself nigga" I say back to him and I remember what La said and I got to make this right. "B you my nigga, I don't what the fuck was wrong with me Im dealing with shit on all side" "Naw you good Jay" Bonez said silencing me. "How she doing" I say asking about KId. "She straight doing good man, La told me she looking for another spot" he said. "Where" I say cause she aint moving nowhere without me knowing where as at. "I don't know but you know La aint letting her go nowhere, especially since they like partners in crime" he said looking infront of him. "Jay look at this nigga" Bonez said pointing to Tyrone mowing. "What about him" I say to him. "This nigga aint slick I swear to God Jay, he be mowing with his shirt off and shit trying to help La bring the groceries in the house, hell naw nigga she straight she dont need your help" Bonez said giving Tyrone a look. "Calm your ass down" i say laughing at him. "I swear to God Jay this nigga gone come up missing" he said with intent. "Bae" Lala said opening the door "Come eat" she said looking at me and smiling. "Hey Jay" I was just about to call you, Im glad you stopped by" she said batting her eyelashes. "What she up to" i say cause just a few hours ago she was yelling at me now she acting cool. "Ion know but knowing La she plotting shit" Bonez said. "Come on" La said leaving the door. "No offense but Im not in the mood for La cooking" i say being honest cause she cant cook for shit. "Chill out mane, you know my baby cant cook that aint what Im with her for, but shorty be cooking my nigga" he said going into the house with me on his tail.
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