WolfStar Heaven

Dream Talk

I had a dream. A dream that I belonged with someone. We danced together, like it was our very first time. I twirled around to an internal beat, in their arms. As they turned, I almost saw their face. Then I woke up.

This was a recurring dream that started when I was six, and finished long after I started Hogwarts. I think I was 13 years old, maybe a bit older. My father sent me to loads of therapists, but nothing seemed to work. The therapists said it was because I watched my mother being tortured and killed when I was four, but that didn't match up.

No, I figured it out long before the therapists did. When I was six, well, that was the year my father stopped trying to make me feel loved. When I was seven, he started ignoring me completely. When I was eight, he started to beat me with silver sticks. When I was 12, he stopped caring enough to beat me. By the time I was 13, I had someone else.

My life at home was pretty bad. When I got my Hogwarts letter, I thought my life would get better. It didn't much. No one loved me or even liked me, but at least they didn't hurt or threaten me. They all used me as a prank victim so often, that I started to get them all back. When I attended fourteen detentions in a row, my enemies decided that being my friend was worth it.

One of my new friend was Sirius Black. He was the second reason my recurring dream changed. My dancing partner got a face and long, black, wonderful hair. The hair was the reason that, at first, my partner was a strange girl. Even after I knew, I tried to turn it into a girl because I didn't want my father to beat me for being different.

With time, the dreams changed. First we danced shirtless, then we danced naked. Then we were naked, but not dancing at all. The feelings always seemed to stay the same though, which is how I knew it was the same dream. They were strong feelings of belonging and love. 

Once I finally came out to Sirius, the dreams stopped completely. I've never had them since. The trauma of my childhood meant that I was super clingy, but with someone loving to cling to, the traumas faded into my past. Now I've learnt to focus on the future, and it is looking good.