Land Of The Stupid

FILE No. 1829XY3

Ernest Robert Young (Ernie)

DOB: 23/12/1996

Age: Fourteen

Place Of Birth: Royal London Hospital, London, Great Britain

Mother: June Bethany Young

Father: Gregory Ernest Smith (Deceased)

Offense/s: First Degree Murder

Sentence: Life Without Parole

FILE No. 127TYU7

Chang Ti Mo Tai (Timothy)

DOB: 02/06/1998

Age: Thirteen

Place Of Birth: Beijing Hospital, Beijing, China

Mother: Chang Sa Man Sha (Samantha Chang)

Father: Chang Fa Yu Ying

Offense/s: Three Counts Of Petty Theft, Escape From A Minimum Security Facility, Armed Robbery

Sentence: Fifteen to Twenty Five Years With Parole

FILE No. 1144ETQ

Rihannon Sophia Kelly (Poppy)

DOB: 21/09/1997

Age: Fourteen

Place Of Birth: St Vincent's Hospital, Sydney, Australia

Mother: Unknown

Father: Charles Howard Kelly

Offense/s: Grand Theft Auto, Third Degree Muder Of Two Officers Of Law, Hacking Of Highly Classified Government Files

Sentence: Thirty Years To Life With Parole

FILE No. 129867G

Frederick George Kingston (Kit)

DOB: 19/05/1996

Age: Fifteen

Place Of Birth: New York Hospital Queens, New York City, New York, USA

Mother: Sally-Anne Kingston

Father: Zacariah James Flack (Convicted Felon)

Offense/s: Armed Robbery, Assault Of A Federal Officer, Manslaughter

Sentence: Fifty Years To Life Without Parole

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Subject: X2TY098NIOPH756 (U8)

Species: Currently Unknown

Description: Pale, scaly skin. Large eye place in centre of mandible. Four limbs, two placed next to chest, two placed under body (presumably used as arms and legs) Eight Phalanges on chestal limbs. No Phalanges on other set on limbs. 1ft 6.5643in in height. 10.78in in width. Forty teeth inside mouth, two sets. Appears to have ears and nose. Overall, slightly humanoid in appearance.

Intelligence: Able to effectively communicate. Arrived in large UFO, so use of technology and engineering is presumed. Able to evaluate emotions. Able to eat without assistance. Showing very promising signs of itelligence. Further testing will begin within the end of the month.

This subject is assumed by experts in the field to be the first extra-terrestial to have ever landed on the planet Earth.