𝙃𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎 ⊳ 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨

xv. 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞

( PROMISE ME. )
carl grimes.

warnings:
spoilers, if you haven't
watched season 5 yet and
mentions of self harm! if
you aren't comfortable
with this, skip this imagine
please!!

word count:
992

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

i got out of the van and walked my way towards the hospital, following the group. i gripped my knife and sliced any walker that came near me, all i cared about was about beth who had been in the hospital for days.

rick came out of the hospital first, looking sad and following behind him was daryl who held had beth is his arms.

as my mouth hung open in disbelief, i covered it with my hand and i shook my head, not believing what i was seeing. a loud cry escaped my lips as my knees dropped to the ground and sobbed.

my sister is dead.

• ° *｡✧

the day of her burial was awful. i felt like i wanted to break down crying every time her name is mentioned.

everyone was saddened by her death. she was loved by everyone.

me and my older sister, maggie held each other closely, comforting each other and crying our hearts out. we were the only ones left in our family since dad and beth are gone. dad's death was sad, but beth's was different. she was like a little happy machine that gives love and happiness to everyone. she comforted everyone who was upset, she sees the good in this destroyed world that is left, she can brighten your worst moments. she's just the most caring and happiest person i know.

tears and loud cries continued throughout her burial, but when her body was being dumped with soil, i never thought that i would cry harder.

the last time that i'm going to see my sister is when she is in her death bed.

once the burial was finished, everyone entered the house silently. i found myself staring at beth's grave, tears continuously dripping to the soil. i hear footsteps approaching and i look up to see carl with a sad expression on his face. "hey, you okay?" he placed his hand on my shoulder, reassuringly, but i don't reply. as much as i want to talk to someone, i wanted to be alone.

i turned away from carl and walked inside the house, immediately walking upstairs to my room. i quickly closed the door behind me and paced around the room trying to find what i was looking for until i spot it and walked towards the bathroom.

* this is the part where i have to warn y'all again, trigger warning! *

i placed the razor on my wrist and pressed it until blood stained the razor and my skin. blood streamed down my arm to the sink, creating a small puddle. it stung, but i didn't care. all i wanted was to experience the pain physically than emotionally.

i continued slashing my wrists with the razor. i even moved to my other arm and continued, not minding the blood staining my clothes and the bathroom sink filling up with blood.

"(y/n)!" i hear the bathroom door burst open and i felt someone grab my elbow, making me drop the razor and face them, who was no other than, carl.

"(y/n), what are you doing to yourself?!" without thinking, i burst out crying in front of him, my blood mixing with my tears as i brought my hands to my eyes. carl wastes no time wrapping me in a comforting hug. he stroked my hair comfortingly and rocked our bodies back and forth.

"why? why did you do this, (y/n)?"

i didn't answer and held on to him tighter like he was going to disappear at any moment.

he pulled away from me and placed his hands on top of my shoulders. "(y/n), what's wrong? why did you do this? what's the reason behind this?" his voice cracked a bit and his eyes were becoming watery, but he ignored it and focused his attention on me.

"b-beth," i simply answered and he pulled me back into a hug.

"listen, don't you dare blame yourself for beth's death. it isn't your fault, okay? she was standing up for herself and for the group. she saved us, (y/n). she loves you so much and she'll look over you and maggie and protect you both. you know that she wouldn't like to see you do this to yourself, so don't do this again, okay?" he pulled away and brought his thumb to my cheek, wiping away the tears.

"carl, it's not easy to get over something like this."

"i know, i experienced this before," carl said, his voice sounding sad. "i don't want to see my best friend hurting herself and i don't want to see her sad," he said, kissing my forehead sweetly.

carl picked the razor off the ground and threw it in the trash. he then walked to the cabinet and came back to me with disinfectant spray and a roll of gauze. he mentioned for me to show him my arms and i was hesitant at first but showed him anyways. he gently ran his finger through some of the cuts and looked up at me, sadly.

he held up the disinfectant spray and i slowly nodded, giving him permission. "this is going to sting, okay?" he sprayed my arms with the disinfectant spray, making me wince in pain. after spraying my arms, he carefully wrapped both of my arms in gauze then kissed them gently.

"promise me that you'll never do this again." he held up his pinky and i hooked mine with his, smiling. "i promise."

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

two updates in a week
orayt

just a reminder that i
do not promote any
form of self-harm!

this was short and
terrible bc i can't handle
writing about beth
dying hUHuHuHu and
also bc i'm currently
writing in my mom's
phone lmao

currently writing some
requests, so it might
come real soon 😏😉

last updated:
july 16, 2020