(Affair #1) Cruel Affair [18+] 11/10/13

Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, so this chapter will be two parts. One public, one private. 

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Chapter 1

One Year Previous...

Am I dead? It sure feels like it. I can't feel or hear anything discernible. All I hear is the buzzing in my ears and stare at the blurry image of a man in a white coat in front of me telling me something. Something I should be listening to. But I don't listen, I can't listen. I don't know if this is my body's natural reaction--blocking everything out--or I'm doing this to myself because I feel like hell.

I force myself to hear the man in a white coat. He's middle-aged with receding hairline, his forehead is etched with concern as he looks at me with cautious eyes while telling me the words I pray to God are lies. Lies. Goddamn lies.

"We did everything..." They would've been alive if you did everything! "...I'm sorry...heart gave up on operating table...unsalvageable damage....missing--"

I cut off the man in a white coat. "Stop." I whispered quietly, my voice hoarse and broken. I can't even scream at him. I feel like the rug under me has been pulled under my feet and I'm lying on the floor, wondering what happened. I am so confused, so hurt, so...lost. I don't know if or how to move on from this. 

"I'm sorry. I truly am." he said, patted my shoulder and turned to walk away.

I slumped on the hard hospital chair beside my older brother, Calvin, in my black mini-dress and black pumps. How fitting. My parents just died.

I was in a bachelorette party of one of my friends when Calvin called me on my phone and told me our parents got in a car accident. A goddamn car accident. 

Imagine how I felt when I was giddy and horny as tight-jeans-, g-string-wearing strippers with oil glistening their muscular bodies dry hump my bare leg when Calvin called. It was a dam of ice water that flooded my entire body. I didn't even feel the stripper dry humping my leg then. I was just numb. I can't feel the phone in my fingers but I know I held it because I hear the broken voice and crying of my older brother. And that's all I hear. Everything around me dulled to black and white and static. The bright lights turned dark, the loud cheerings, catcalls and hoots of my friends have stopped when I was no longer reacting to the stripper that was in front of me. They grew silent as they watched me get up from my seat, turned to walk out of the front door, and hailed a cab without explaining to them.

In the cab, I didn't cry. I just stared blankly ahead and watched people enjoy their Friday nights while I am here, inside a cab, still reeling from the phone call from Calvin. Reality stared setting in as I near the hospital where my parents are admitted. No, don't correct me. They're my parents. Not my dead parents. They are not dead. They're not...they can't...

Every step I took as I neared the front door of the hospital felt like dragging an oil tank that is chained and locked on both my feet. It's hard, difficult. I just wanted to stop, unchain the locks and run away as far as possible and not think of whatever's happening in the hospital. Out of sight, out of mind, right? But then I feel guilty. They're my parents. My happy, loving, doting, frustrating, maddening parents. I can't not think of them.