Tweeks Journal (Craig x Tweek)

2/8/20

The Tucker boy. Where do I begin? He was my first love. My first friend. He was my everything. And when I said was I mean- he used to be. He still is my everything. But at the moment we don't exactly speak. He was perfect. Every problem he had, every scar on his body. All beautiful in my eyes but not in his. We did everything together him and I. Over summer vacations we'd sneak out to go sit by the pond, to explore the woods, climb mountains (even when I was a little scared) we'd skip class together, kiss in the halls when we thought no one was looking. It was all so amazing, the way he'd hold me close on the nights that id have nightmares. The nights where I felt like I was going to puke from all the crying. We both had our problems, him and I. But we helped each other. It seemed that I told him more than he told me though. I didn't see it coming. None of us saw it coming. The night I was called to the hospital at 6 in the morning, listening to the voicemail that had been left by Craig around two hours later. The boy was in tears, sobbing about how sorry he was and about how much he loved me and how I needed to move on. How I needed to find someone more stable. Looking back at it I see how dumb I was. When I heard the voicemail I thought that he was just breaking up with me. But once that call from the hospital came I knew it wasn't the case. Craig Tucker, the bad boy. The tough kid. It was all just a show. On the inside he was dying. But he acted so happy around me. He acted like I was his world. He acted like- like he didn't have a care at all for anything. He tried to take his life that boy did. His sister had woken up to use the bathroom and saw him in the bathroom with pills in his hand and scattered all over the floor. I didn't know what to think when I got the news. All I could do was cry and hope that he was okay. I woke up my parents and told them where I was going. I got there and he was just laying in bed, staring at me with tear stained cheeks as he said how sorry he was. How he wanted better for me. But I didn't want better. I wanted him. It was selfish of me but I didn't want to lose the love of my life. My everything.